Still Waters: The Art of Balanced Awareness

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."
— William James

 

In our lifetime, we often face situations beyond our control. Being that we are creatures who desire to be in control, it's easy to get stuck in thoughts of how to fix everything—even things that are outside our influence. However, stressing over every adverse situation can be exhausting. That's where Balanced Awareness comes in. This concept teaches us to acknowledge our disappointments regarding things we can't control and then focus our energy on accepting and releasing our unmet expectations.

Balanced Awareness is about recognizing our preferences while also accepting reality. It’s a delicate balance between striving for what we want and understanding that things don't always go as planned. Let's take a practical look.

Examples of Balanced Awareness Statements:

• "I wanted them to make that decision sooner, but life is unpredictable, and they are likely doing the best they can."
  
• "Today would have been better without so much stress, but it'll be okay. It's just part of life's experience."
• "Unfortunately, I didn't get more recognition for my efforts, but it's okay. Not everyone knows the level of detail and work it took."
• "I would have preferred a gentler tone from them, but I know they love me and that not everyone can communicate the way I prefer all the time."
• "I wish I had more time for hobbies, but my current schedule is temporarily demanding. I’ll revisit this later to see if I can find time to fit them in."
  

Embracing Balanced Awareness isn’t about resigning ourselves to disappointment but rather about finding peace and strength in what we can influence. For me, by accepting the reality of what’s beyond my control and focusing my energy on what I can change, I have a more resilient and grounded perspective. Remember, it's through this balance that we can navigate life's challenges with greater ease and grace.

Activity: Control Zones

To apply Balanced Awareness, try this activity:

1. Control Zone #1: Situations You Can’t Control
• List some situations that are stressing you out but are beyond your control. For each, write a Balanced Awareness statement. Example: "I wish I had received the kind of support I asked for, but I accept that sometimes people just can’t provide what I need."
2. Control Zone #2: Things You Can Control
• Within those stressful situations, create a list of things you can control, such as your responses, daily routines, or personal goals. Use this list to refocus your energy on actionable areas.

Below is a photo with my examples of Control Zones that I did earlier this year. I went back and created some Balanced Acceptance statements: 

1. "I am so sad about wars going on right now but accept that there is only so much I can do. I will focus on staying informed and supporting humanitarian efforts where I can."
   
   
2. "It makes me emotional when celebrities from my childhood pass away, but I accept that death is part of life so I will honor their memory by appreciating their work."
   
   
3. "I disagree with their politics, but they have a right to their beliefs too. So, if this gets to be too much for me, I will simply let them know I don't want to engage in further discussions." 

Over the past few weeks, practicing Balanced Awareness and recognizing the difference between situations I can and cannot control, has helped me direct my energy more effectively and find some mental rest. This approach is helping me face difficulties with a clearer and more peaceful perspective.