Soft Words for Anxious Moments

My Recent Watercolor Painting

Oh Life.

I've been so stressed. Lately, it feels like I’m going through my first real rounds with anxiety. My “triage” go-to options for self-care have been packed full of fantastic ideas for years now. But lately, there’s just too much hard change for those to keep up. What I’m needing isn’t more tips or activities, but ideas to shift my internal language. Something deeper; something steadier.

Many times, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. Creating small moments of calm can help when our nervous system feels overwhelmed, when the noise outside of us is too much, or when our own thoughts won’t quiet down. So here are some deeper language tools I’m exploring to help steady my mind. 

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1. Name the Feeling, Then Rename It Kindly

I'm trying to say out loud what I'm experiencing. “I feel overwhelmed.” “I’m tense.” Or even, “I don’t know what I feel, but it’s heavy.” Then following it up with something softer like, “And it makes sense,” or “This won’t last forever.” Sometimes self-soothing starts by giving ourselves permission to feel.

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2. “What’s True Right Now?”

I ask that question quietly, almost like a prayer. Then answer with facts of things around me, not fears. For example: “What's true right now? I’m okay. I may be _____ (emotion here), but I can make it past this. The lights are on. My feet are on the floor. I can hear the birds singing.” Sometimes truths of the moment (sight, sound, touch) pull our minds back from the edge.

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3. Create a “Go-To Phrase” That You Memorize

I'm trying out a short phrase to repeat when I'm anxious or scattered. A few examples:

• “I can take this one breath at a time.” When everything feels like too much, we can narrow our focus. We don’t always need a plan—just this breath.

• “I am still learning, even in the middle of this.” A reminder that growth and change continue at every age, even when life feels messy.

• “This is uncomfortable, not unsafe.” For moments when fear or anxiety is loud but not rooted in actual danger.

I keep it short and emotionally honest then say it slowly.

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4. Tell Someone You're Struggling (Even Briefly)

Many times, I don't need someone to solve it, but I just need to say it: “I’m having a weird day,” or “I’m feeling off.” Saying it out loud to someone I trust helps me shift my inner state from isolated to connected, even if nothing changes externally. And still, ultimately, I will not let myself be afraid to reach out to a counselor, therapist, or doctor to get extra support.

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5. Use “Part of Me” Language

Instead of saying, “I’m freaking out,” I'm using, “A part of me is feeling overwhelmed right now." This approach acknowledges my difficult emotions without making my feelings all that I am. I might also say, "A part of me is sad while another part  ____ [fact based positive outlook]," so that I'm in balance. Positive outlook examples could be: 1. knows this season will pass, 2. knows I've gotten through hard times before, 3. knows I've done my best.

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6. “This Feeling Isn’t a Forecast.”

Just because I feel dread doesn’t mean something bad is coming. So, I've been reminding myself, “This is a feeling, not a prophecy.” This helps reframe my anxiety as an internal wave, not an external warning.

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7. “Today, I’m Allowed to Be a Human.”

This one is for the days when I feel like I'm just carrying too much. I'll speak it gently to try to let the weight shift off my shoulders, even just a little. Just giving myself permission to be okay with not being on my A-game.

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BONUS IDEA: Heart Hold Tap

This one is especially helpful when we’re feeling emotionally raw, disconnected, or overwhelmed. It’s simple and calming.

How to do it:

• Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.

• Place one hand over your heart. You can use your full palm or just your fingertips.

• Begin gently tapping about one tap per second. You can say silently with each tap, “Here I am” or “I’m okay.”

• If you’re comfortable, close your eyes and match the tapping to your breath.

• Do this for 1 to 3 minutes, or until you feel just a little steadier.

Why it works: The warmth and pressure of your hand over your heart may stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps bring your body out of fight-or-flight. The slow rhythm gives your system something predictable and soothing to focus on.

AI Bedtime Stories

Sometimes when I'm trying to drift off to sleep my mind starts racing. I've tried to do different things to get it settled and reading seems the best. Instead of reaching for my current book, I decided to ask AI to create me a bedtime story by giving it just a few details from my day and a setting. It's been crafting some beautifully calm stories. I wanted to share an example here and suggest this prompt too. ❤️

"Stella and the Thread of Light"

High above the world, past the silver clouds and auroras that danced in silence, there was a little starglow station where dreams gathered before they fell to Earth. It wasn’t marked on any map and no telescope could see it, but it was there floating like a dandelion seed on the breath of the cosmos.

This station was tended by a starlight keeper named Stella. She had hair like moonlight, eyes that held the softness of twilight, and hands skilled in the quiet art of weaving peace. Her job? To stitch together the softest moments of each person’s day and spin them into threads of light threads that would wrap gently around them as they slept.

Tonight, Stella was especially joyful. She had gathered a golden thread from a sunrise that had taken someone’s breath away. A silver strand from laughter shared. A streak of bright coral from someone moving freely in their body. Soft pink loops from completed tasks and tidy corners. And from a heart full of generosity, she'd found flecks of rose-gold light, the kind that only appears when you think of others in love.

Stella hummed as she worked, her loom gently humming back, catching the rhythm of contentment. As she wove, a small star floated by, watching curiously.

“Who’s this one for?” the star asked, blinking.

Stella smiled. “This one’s for a soul who spent the day in beauty, motion, and kindness. They poured light into their space and the people they love. Now it’s their turn to be wrapped in light.”

The star beamed. “Will they feel it?”

“Oh yes,” Stella whispered. “It will come as a soft weight in the limbs. A deep sigh. The kind of sleep that feels like floating. The kind where your spirit roams among galaxies and wakes up remembering something good, even if you can’t name it.”

With the final stitch, Stella knotted the thread and released it. It shimmered through space like a ribbon in slow motion, falling gently, quietly, faithfully.

Down below, that small ribbon of starlight found its way through the hush of night. It entered through an open heart, softened by gratitude, and draped itself over the one it belonged to...you.

It whispered nothing, made no demands. It simply was a gift earned by living with beauty and love.

And as you nestled into your blankets, the stars above blinked slowly, keeping watch, while Stella added your name to the constellation of souls who shine by day and rest by grace at night.

Sleep came gently.

And it was very, very good

If My Life Were a Cottagecore Novel, This Week Would Include…

Take a deep breath and enjoy this little artwork.

A sensory snapshot of quiet moments and simple things.

• A steaming mug of tea cooling beside a stack of books I keep meaning to open.

• The smell of dirt after watering the garden, warm and familiar.

• The breeze on my walk between meetings, tugging at me to run barefoot through the grass.

• Watching sunlight and tree shadows shift in slow-moving time across the floor.

• The pause before getting into my car—hearing birds sing, and letting it settle me.

• A bit of afternoon couch napping, letting peace wrap me up. 

• Listening to live music while holding my husband's hand, reminding myself life is good.
  
  

Lately, I’ve been craving slower rhythms—moments where life doesn’t need to be fixed or figured out, just noticed. This little exercise came from that place. I imagined my week not as a to-do list, but as a scene from a quiet novel. It helped me find beauty in the in-between: the ordinary, the fleeting, the things I’d miss if I didn’t pause.

Feeling a little uninspired or tired too? Try slowing down and jotting down the little things you’ve noticed this week. What sights, sounds, smells, or feelings have stood out? It doesn’t have to be profound—just real. Sometimes that’s more than enough.

Life in Experiment Mode

My experimental garden

What if your next few weeks had less pressure—and were more about curiosity?

Malama Life on YouTube had a video on this topic which offered me a refreshing perspective and it's led me to framing my tasks and daily activities as experiments.

This thought-shift has moved my mind away from stressing about everything working out and toward valuing how life develops. Outcomes are simply data to inform my next steps and this mindset has brought me more peace, curiosity, and growth!

Personally, I've been puttering with two raised garden beds a lot lately. I find myself sometimes stressing and feeling pressure for great results, but the truth I keep coming back to is that this is really an experiment. Some of the garden guys I watch have whole gardens where they simply experiment with different soils and techniques. One gardener in South Texas is considered a chaos gardener. She just throws seeds around and experiments that way. This has encouraged me to view mine as the same. 

And all this has brought me back to Thoreau's Walden. Henry David Thoreau lived his life in experiment mode! I remember reading how he worked hard, even on his own bean crop, and my spirit calms when reading the balanced view of his days and nature again.

"While I enjoy the friendship of the seasons I trust that nothing can make life a burden to me. The gentle rain which waters my beans and keeps me in the house today is not drear and melancholy, but good for me too. Though it prevents my hoeing them, it is of far more worth than my hoeing. If it should continue so long as to cause the seeds to rot in the ground and destroy the potatoes in the low lands, it would still be good for the grass on the uplands, and, being good for the grass, it would be good for me." HDT

I've been growing things from seeds too, including bush beans - which are fun to watch, but I've realized I do not enjoy the back and forth of the hardening off process. So, I've been writing down my planting results, including a collection of my feelings as data. It goes like this: 

Did the seeds for my beans grow well - check! Did the bugs come and eat the first real leaf - also check. What is the data on how that made me feel? Well, why spend months growing seeds only to have them eaten - next year I may just by transplants that are stronger. I value my time spent more than a few extra bucks. 

Anyway, the recent Spring hail may have damaged my little seedlings or critters may come and destroy all my work tomorrow despite my efforts. But to plant a garden is to sit in awe of nature. I continually challenge my brain not to focus SO much on the results and when successful, this makes the garden more beautiful and less stressful.

Here are some other practical ways to think of experimentation: 

New Hobbies

Treat your hobbies as a fun experiment. For example, let’s say you want to start painting. Instead of stressing about creating a “perfect” painting, view each brushstroke as an opportunity to collect data. How does paint react to changes in pressure of the brush to paper? What happens if you mix other colors together? You may discover a preference for abstract art over realism, or that you love the act of painting itself, regardless of the outcome. The goal of your new hobby shouldn't be perfection; it’s insight.

Building a Health Routine

Experiment with different routines or meal plans without the pressure of perfect results. Look at it as an experiment to try out different workout styles like Qigong, strength training, cardio—and see which ones you enjoy and how each makes you feel. Instead of measuring success by the number of pounds lost or the miles run, collect data about what keeps you energized or how your body responds. Get curious and ask yourself questions. By removing the outcome pressure, (lbs lost) which is usually based on society, and leaning into experimentation, the experience becomes about what you enjoy and not just a result.

Relationship Building

Consider the next few weeks an experiment in learning to have better relationships. Try new ways of communicating with a partner or experiment with different ways of spending time with family. If you need new friends, then look for different ways to meet new people. Would you like a more collaborative work environment with your team, experiment with a new meeting format. The results, whether classically a success or failure, are just data showing if this new idea strengthened your bonds or didn't resonate. In this experiment, outcomes can be beautiful data to inform you of better ways to build your connections.

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The Benefit: Excitement and an Open Mind

Approaching life like an experiment can help us embrace uncertainty with excitement rather than fear. It encourages a sense of curiosity, where we can be excited to see what works and what doesn’t, knowing that every result—good or bad—teaches us something valuable. With this open mind, we become more adaptable, resilient, and at ease with imperfections.

I hope you'll consider the weeks ahead as an experiment where you can see what works for you, what excites you, and what challenges you. And most of all, less pressure and more curiosity. 

All Systems Red: Unexpected Depth in a Short Story

 

The novella titled, All Systems Red by Martha Wells was a solid 5-star read for me. From the start, I was hooked by Murderbot, an android with a dry sense of humor and a surprising amount of self-awareness.

Murderbot refers to itself by that name due to its original programming. Despite hacking its own system to gain autonomy and freedom, the name still sticks because it’s part of its identity. "Murderbot" reflects its past as a security unit designed for violence. Even though it no longer wants to be defined by that purpose, it can’t fully escape the name or the programming tied to it. This tension between wanting freedom and being constantly reminded of its original function adds depth to the story. The narrative is a mix of humor and existential questions about identity, all while Murderbot is serving as security for a group of human researchers on a distant planet.

It spoke to the introvert in me that this android hacked its own system so it could experience life on its own terms, but then kept it a secret as long as he could to enjoy that freedom. The story is easy and fast-paced. If you enjoy stories about unconventional protagonists, this novella is definitely worth your time.

By the way, I just saw this week that a 10-episode series titled Murderbot, is set to premiere on May 16, 2025 on Apple TV+.

Women's Quarter: Wilma Mankiller

 

I came across a Wilma Mankiller quarter after getting change at a local store. This amazing woman was the first female Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation. Her leadership and advocacy for Native sovereignty, healthcare, and education left a lasting impact, but there's more to her story than most people know.

Common Facts:

• Born on November 18, 1945, in the Hastings Indian Hospital in Tahlequah, Oklahoma, to Clara Irene (née Sitton) and Charley Mankiller. Her father was a full-blooded Cherokee, whose ancestors had been forced to relocate to Indian Territory from Tennessee over the Trail of Tears in the 1830s.
• Historic Leadership: She served as Principal Chief from 1985 to 1995, leading the Cherokee Nation’s population growth and economic development.
• Advocate for Native Rights: Mankiller worked tirelessly to improve healthcare, housing, and education for Indigenous communities. She was a grant writer as well.
  
• Presidential Recognition: She received the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1998.

Uncommon Facts:

• Unusual Last Name: The surname "Mankiller" comes from a Cherokee military title for a high-ranking warrior or protector.
• Started with Activism: Before entering politics, she was deeply involved in the 1969 Native American occupation of Alcatraz Island, a key moment in Indigenous activism.
• Overcame Hardships: She survived two near-fatal car accidents, underwent a kidney transplant, and battled cancer.
  
• Built from the Ground Up: One of her most successful projects was bringing running water and electricity to rural Cherokee communities, empowering people through self-help initiatives.

Wilma Mankiller was interesting to study. Her quarter isn't just currency in my pocket—it’s a symbol of strength and progress.

Quote after a car crash -  "a Cherokee approach to life." In a 1993 interview on NPR, she said: "I think the Cherokee approach to life is being able to continually move forward with kind of a good mind and not focus on the negative things in your life and the negative things you see around you, but focus on the positive things and try to look at the larger picture and keep moving forward..[It] also taught me to look at the larger things in life rather than focusing on small things, and it's also awfully, awfully hard to rattle me after having faced my own mortality ... so the things I learned from those experiences actually enabled me to lead. Without those experiences, I don't think I would have been able to lead. I think I would have gotten caught up in a lot of nonsensical things."

Whispers to Seeds: Our Garden's Quiet Beginnng

As I putter around my garden, whispering sweet prayers over my seedlings, they soak in the soil, water, and my gentle hopes for our future to be filled with beauty and bounty.
In my "Barkyard garden," I find a distraction from the noise of the world in a sanctuary where my spirit can hold onto hope and not get disheartened.

 

 

I think it started after my pecan trees produced a bumper crop. Inspired by having so many, this year I’m starting a garden! My hope is that it will help provide for my family. I’ve started small with seeds in little pots and a seed starting tray after doing a TON of research for my area. Prayerfully I'll be transferring them into my raised garden beds and planters in a month or so. My goals are to bring beauty into my backyard while supplementing our grocery budget by growing some of our own fruits and vegetables. With rising food costs, I hope to reduce our dependency on store-bought goods a little. If not by this year, then by 2026.

Honestly, I’ve been nervous about whether anything will actually grow, especially after a disappointing container gardening experience many years ago. Lately I've been reminding myself that there are no guarantees in gardening and that it’s okay if this doesn’t work. I'm trying to embrace the process, no matter the harvest? Each seed I plant does feel like an act of faith and a prayer for the future, even as I speak encouraging whispers into the soil.

I've started most from seed which have begun pushing through soil with the help of my grow lights (except strawberries, which I’ll buy and transplant). Watching them growing has been rewarding and as they've begun to push through the soil, my confidence grows too. 

Below is what I’m growing this year. I have two, side by side 4 ft long, 2ft across, and 1 ft deep raised garden beds and surrounding planters:

• Ace 55 Tomatoes
• Green Beans: Bush variety
• Ground Cherries
• Pickling Cucumbers (hoping to jar pickles with my grandma’s recipe)
• Lettuce: Summer Crisp & Red Romaine
• Edamame
• Broccoli
• Eggplant
  
• Carrots & Radishes
  
• Strawberries (in my grandma's terracotta pot too)

Have you ever heard of companion planting? I've been studying that too. I'll be planing these next items in and around the garden because they are said to help with pollination and pest control:

• Basil (companion to tomatoes)
  
• Mammoth Sunflowers
• Marigolds (champion of gardeners) & Cosmos flowers
  
• Dill & Chives
  

Now, naming my garden was tough. I wanted something that would make me smile! So, below are a few photos of the humble beginnings of the "Barkyard Garden." The "bark" is of course a nod to Branch, our black lab, and Gunner, our Dutch Shepherd's along with a playful take on the word "backyard," since that's where the garden is located and the pups outside domain.

So may God bless the Barkyard Garden as it grows, in its own way, and me as it nurtures my patience, hope, and trust in the harvest to come - not only in food but my character.

 

Will fill with soil in March!

My Grandma's Strawberry Pot