à la mort

Kou Art

I am uninspired lately; almost lifeless. Life is so hectic, not with things I truly enjoy though, it feels dull. I've not been in such a place in a lustrum. I don't have the energy to brighten myself. I push forward, like a tired jouster. I know the routine; I drag along. Why talk? No reason to engage. I'm licking wounds and repenting.

Isaiah 1:18 The Voice (VOICE)

Come on now, let’s walk and talk; let’s work this out.
        Your wrongdoings are bloodred,
    But they can turn as white as snow.
        Your sins are red like crimson,
    But they can be made clean again like new wool.

What Does Support Look Like?

sup·port (verb)

1. to bear all or part of the weight; hold up 
2. give assistance to; enable to function or act

Have you ever taken the time to consider what support looks like to YOU as an individual? We may assume that everyone feels supported by the same things, and although some might be universal, other support actions may not be as intuitive.

But before getting into the exercise, why is developing a strong support system so vital? Mayo Clinic writes, "Several studies have demonstrated that having a network of supportive relationships contributes to psychological well-being. When you have a social support network, you benefit in the following ways:

• Sense of belonging. Spending time with people helps ward off loneliness. Whether it's other new parents, dog lovers, fishing buddies or siblings, just knowing you're not alone can go a long way toward coping with stress.
• Increased sense of self-worth. Having people who call you a friend reinforces the idea that you're a good person to be around.
• Feeling of security. Your social network gives you access to information, advice, guidance and other types of assistance should you need them. It's comforting to know that you have people you can turn to in a time of need."

So support systems are important but how can people effectively show you support if you've never thought deeply about what support looks like to you? And honestly, how can you truly be a support to someone else if you are basing the support you provide solely on what you "think" would make the other person feel supported? Deep stuff. 

Below is a copy of my answers to the exercise. I took 5 minutes and tried not to over-think, too much. HA. I hope to be able to find out what "support looks like" to my family and friends too! For me, the most surprising things that came to mind were: thoughtful questions (you know, those that dig deeper than 'how are you doing?') soft voices, sitting together in silence, and inside jokes. 

Support systems are grounding and uplifting at the same time however, how we individually feel supported by those around us can be different. I hope you'll take 5 minutes today, or over the weekend, to do this little mental health exercise too. As poet, Thomas Merton once said, "We cannot be ourselves unless we know ourselves." :)

The Cell Block

For my birthday this year, I stayed in a unique place called the Cell Block. I looked at scriptures about Joseph and Paul while meditating on what it is like to keep your faith in hard times and isolation. Deep Stuff.

ACTS 16: 25-26

 

Envelope Doodles

People feel special when they get mail and I like to make the surprise even cuter by drawing pictures on them. I hope to make some mail carriers smile too. Here are some that I've drawn.

St. Martinville aka Petit Paris

The teens and I headed out of Texas after Christmas for vacation. We left early Wednesday morning and arrived around 3pm in the St Martin Parish to hunker down for a few days in an old Methodist church from 1904. This 1400 square foot piece of southern Louisiana history is a perfect spot for creatives. St. Martinville, also known as "little Paris," is the site of the "Evangeline Oak," which was once believed to be featured in Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem about the Acadian expulsion. The tree is draped with moss and sits in a little park right along the Bayou Teche. Here is a great little blog about it's history: The Story of Evangeline’s Empty Grave: A Louisiana Tale. Toby and Rene' are not fans of seafood however we ate at a local restaurant called St John's and Toby and I tried Gator bits...they were yummers.



Bust of Longfellow

The next day we traveled to Lafayette's science and history museum where we spent at least 30 minutes experiencing Virtual Reality games. It was funny to watch them shoot arrows, fling planets and pet virtual animals.

Later in the evening we headed off to Baton Rouge to experience a 2.5 hour night ghost tour. In this private excursion, we loaded a small tour bus and bumped through the city listening to tails of history. We got off at certain spots for pictures and "hunting" using equipment to test for paranormal activity. We had frights, laughs and maybe even have some orb pictures. I'll let you be the judge. ;)  There were stories of the apparitions of Huey Long, Sarah Morgan and ghosts aboard the U.S.S Kidd who lost thirty-eight soldiers in a failed kamikaze attack. [that pilot haunts it also] We used Electro-magnetic field detectors and a voice recorder to scan for a ghost named Sadie, confederate soldiers, and a slain professor among others. See below for more pictures!

We are playing today by ear and going where the road leads us. So far though, it's been great to get away with the kids and be adventurous. I hope they catch that bug and continue to adventure for the rest of their lives.

Our AirBnB home while in Louisiana

Ghost Tour & Hunting

 

apparition in the upper right corner of the pic to the left 

Zoomed in on the picture I took.

This home had a red light on inside. You can see it in the right window next to the door. It gave a eerie mood for sure.

Sunday, The First Day of My Week

In American culture, we tend to view our 7 day week as beginning on Monday. Five days of work and the two that follow to rest and play. I think many Christians view Sunday worship as a period to their week. This morning, I am mediating on how different my week might feel with a perspective change in treating Sunday as the first day of my week.

I'll let you go to the net and research the controversy to draw your own conclusion about what "should" be considered our first day of the week however that's not my point here. This morning my mind is on what perspective I need.

As Megan Ryan said in the movie Kate & Leopold, "Sunday is the day before the day I work, so it gets poisoned." I've felt this way. Sometimes after service, a Sunday can feel packed with a dread of Mondays and all the "adulting" that comes along with the week ahead.

But, what if Sunday is my first day of the week? What if I framed my work week in a hug of rest and play between Sunday and Saturday. Then, Sunday can be the beginning of something new instead of the end...like when God created and when Jesus rose. Even if you are not a person of faith, maybe your week would feel different if the week was sandwiched between Sunday's relaxation and Saturday's freedom?

I don't know about you but, for me, this perspective change could be the balm.

As the Proverb says, "A Sunday well spent brings a week of content."

Filing the Irks Away

Me: "I'm a slow processor."

Doesn't it look like a person? Ha.

Another: "I'd call it internal processing. You gather all the information you can and then process which can't always be done in the moment."

This was a brief section of a conversation I had today. She was right. Introverts process internally. I'm reflecting on the different ways I internally process because I was challenged to figure out which avenue of processing I would like to bring back into my life if I could. Ways I process:

• Acting through a scenario
• Writing
• Silence
• Talking through a situation
• Visualization/Picturing an analogy that fits a situation

Like a race car on the track, again I return and it's being pointed out that I'm putting myself last in my professional and personal relationships. As my son mentioned more than once this weekend, "You keep waking up through the night because you are stressed."

True, my sweet warrior boy.

Further truth is that I'm not taking time to process, or as a mentor from about 9 years ago shared with me, "You are not taking time to file away the details of the day so your mind can rest." Will I ever learn? Ha.

Today during my talk with "Another," I did my mental filing in Picture Analogy. Me, the armadillo...trying to have a soft front, strong back [thanks to Brene' Brown]. My life, the balancing scale that has too much weight on one side. So today, it seems I brought back the Picture Analogy process.

Tonight, I need to go further...writing. When Another gave me this challenge, I didn't think I'd even have time to process my processes...ha, but here. If I work at it...or better yet, if I relax into it by taking time for myself, then the processing comes.

 

One interaction was brought to mind just now as I was searching for pictures. I answered the phone today at work and since I answer for both my office and the main college line I began answering the professional way I always do, "Thank you for calling [name of college], this is [my name]" but she cut me off before I even got out "the college of" and started talking over me. *irk!* Then she fumbled and said, "I didn't want you to have to go through your whole spiel," to which I responded fairly brash, "I'd rather say it than be interrupted."

 

Awkward moment. Which is unfortunate because I've been having a lot of those with coworkers lately. We are all so stressed and snowed under. Yet people's impoliteness really has been getting on my last nerve. See how I'm processing through writing...go me! Go ahead and send me a mental high-five...'cause I'm not being prideful, this is the stuff I'm needing to process for the my health and happiness. Okay...that situation is filed. :) If you are an extrovert, it might help to read some tips below and if you are introverted, it might help you to be reminded of those things that tend to send you to space so you can work through them and get grounded. As for me, this filing time is over...and I'm off to a warm bubble bath.