Creative Writing - New Oil Painting

I first saw this painting in an antique mall a year ago and it spoke to me. But, being hard headed, I just didn't listen. However the other day I visited the antique shop again and this beauty was still there. I couldn't resist making an offer! This usually isn't my style of art...still there is just something about it.. perhaps it was simply meant to be mine! Why keep it waiting any longer.

I received a suggestion to write about this new painting I purchased as a self-care practice to bring out the artistic side of me I've been longing to be more in touch with in my life. Today, I took time at lunch to write: 

Vibrant, dimensions leaping from the flat surface and perfectly blending with the painted frame. Different lighting brings new colors to attention. In the fluorescent lights, the blue outlines of the table and around the guitar suddenly appear. The "heart" bumps up in it's texture, which makes me want to close my eyes and touch the canvas. Cracks in the oil bring a wise, old feeling to this modern expressionism jewel. With the lights off and showcased the a lamp's glow, the little apples, the frame around the "heart", the curtain and the guitar take center stage as though about to perform. The piece sings of relaxation and easy times spent in a special palce somewhere filled with music, spirits, and light, healthy food. The keyboard, showing that the instrument doesn't require perfection to be enjoyed, smoothly moves to frame the scene of letting your spirit enjoy before heading out through its heart's door... with the reminder to revisit and re-imagine any time you please. 

Closing & Opening Chapters

University Peace Pole

That moment hit today. I was walking back from enjoying an annual event my department hosts and I began to tear up. Why? Well, in only four business days I'll be transitioning out of my current department into a new college to work as an EA to the dean. Of course, I'm super excited about this offer and move!! And yet, as I was walking back to the office today, the full realization that this chapter of my career was closing flooded me and I felt emotional. 

In 2013, I transferred to this job and that following weekend I began adoption certification classes. This was the job that supported me through adopting both my kids. These were the people who provided an adoption shower for me and my daughter, who gave me encouragement when adopting my son and gave a listening ear through it all! This department is where both my kids have visited their new Mama at work and caught a vision of what it would be like to go to college themselves.

So although it was tempting to stuff it all, as I walked back I instead let myself feel and remember. I let myself shed tears. In the next few days, I'll walk through the office and pray over people silently...those still at the department and those who will fill it after me. I do not want to shut down in the rush to the new job and miss the closing of this chapter of work. It's been a hard chapter and a good chapter. Sometimes we have to make the decision to let ourselves feel the turning page so that we can fully walk into new chapters.

Lectio Divina ~ Devine Reading

I’m reading Shauna Niequist’s new book, Present Over Perfect and have been looking at the practice of Lectio Divina. Ever heard of it? There is something about it that I find so beautiful… specifically cuddled in the thought of, as she wrote, “trying to reimagine my faith as a soft place.”(1) I want to carry a gentle faith, almost soft, yet with the full knowledge that my faith is protective. And I desire my faith to be beautifully well-balanced and not to just see faith as a motivator.

“I picture God’s heart, red and beautiful; I breathe deeply and try to imagine my faith as protection from this frantic, soulless way of living, instead of one of its motivators.”(2)  - Chapter “Daughter”(2) from Present over Perfect (1)

The following is paraphrased from Wikipedia - So in portions of the Christian faith, Lectio Divina (Latin for "Divine Reading") is the practice of scriptural reading, meditation and prayer intended to promote communion with God. Scripture is not studied in this practice but instead soaked in as the word, living and active. In a sense, the beloved glance at the verses with Christ. For example, in John 14:27 Jesus says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you." An analytical approach would focus on the reason for the statement while in Lectio Divina, we would seek to rest inside this peace from Christ rather than "dissecting" it.

“Seek in reading and you will find in meditation; knock in prayer and it will be opened to you in contemplation — The four stages of Lectio Divina as taught by John of the Cross.”

Another way of viewing Lectio Divina has been likened to "feasting on the Word": first, the taking of a bite (lectio); then chewing on it (meditatio); savoring its essence (oratio) and, finally, "digesting" it and making it a part of the body (contemplatio). 

The Practice:

• Lectio ("read")  “these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.” - 1 Corinthians 2:9–10. In Lectio, you relax into a calm and tranquil state of mind to prepare for full Lectio Divina. A stillness, as in Psalm 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God,” while inviting the Holy Spirit to guide the reading of the Scripture. The biblical basis for the preparation goes back to 1 Corinthians 2:9–10 which emphasizes the role of the Holy Spirit in revealing the Word of God. Following the preparation, the first movement of Lectio Divina is a slow and gradual reading of the scriptural passage, perhaps a few times.

• Meditatio ("meditate") Although Lectio Divina involves reading, it is less a practice of reading than one of listening to the inner message of the Scripture delivered through the Holy Spirit. Lectio Divina does not seek information or motivation, but communion with God. The second movement in Lectio Divina is meditating and pondering on the scriptural passage. The English word ponder comes from the Latin pondus which relates to the mental activity of weighing or considering. To ponder, the passage is held lightly, gently, and considered from various angles.
• Oratio ("pray") In the Christian tradition, prayer is understood as dialogue with God, that is, as loving conversation with God who has invited us into an embrace about what you "savored" about the verse and God.
• Contemplatio ("contemplate") Contemplation takes place in terms of silent prayer that expresses love for God through what the scripture and Spirit reveal and absorbing it into yourself deeply. In the 14th century, Richard Rolle expressed that contemplation as the path that leads the soul to union with God.

There are all kinds of videos on this practice but when I felt that they all seemed very strategic and  seemed too strict especially since this practice provided descriptions of a deep, gentle time with God. So instead, I'll leave this post with a video from David Steindle-Rast because I love his description of considering so many ways God expresses love.

Listening to God: What does it mean to listen to God? Brother David Steindl-Rast explains that "God is so simple that he has only one thing to say: I love you."
Video also found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCqdoEF_Uus

 

When Silence Is Loud Enough Your Inner Voice Whispers

"Words, words, words! So many words! 

They are wearisome things; and yet people cannot refrain from speaking."
~ Ecclesiastes 1: 8a

Silence. My ears rang loudly as I sat in my room this morning. Ears get so used to continuous sounds that in the absence of noise, they strain. Why are my surroundings so quiet? Well, the kids are with my parents and for the first time in awhile I've more significant time to myself. So I spent much of today taking a break from my own physical voice and from the voices of others. The megaphone of facebook media and news is too brazen for me at the moment. Today, silence was loud enough.

So I listened to coffee brew and my stomach rumble. I heard my cat softly walk through our home today. Do you know how quiet it has to be to hear those little pads connect with the carpet? Wow! Sounds that often take a backseat to the day have been ushered up front and placed center stage. Especially nice was simply hearing my own mental voice. I listened as my inner voice read Ecclesiastes, as it pondered Sarah Kay's "Useless Bay" poem and contemplate how there is no map in life - only a compass, as shared by Jason Silvia in his video, "The answer is love. The answer is yes." This day has been about me and taking time to ring out the sponged up emotions I've absorbed from others over the past few months. And at the end of these hours my little inner voice whispered, "you are doing just fine." *deep sigh*

You see, true reflective perspective reminded me of this truth: I'm not the cause of all the problems going on around me nor am I the solution. Trivial? Obvious? Well, maybe. But for this problem-solver's mind, a mind who has spent too much time lately hearing everyone else's voice shout over her own, that simple truth brings me deep, joyful peace today.

I'm thankful to God for time of silence, the time of metaphor musing and for the Compass. 

Journaling Between Generations

Yesterday, my daughter and I went shopping together and, as always, I had such a great time with her! We shopped for Christmas gifts at a local book store, had several mini-heart palpatations over prices of different STEM games, and loaded down our rolling baskets with way too many cute items from a store called "5 Below." Do you have that store where you live? *Beware*

At the beginning of our mother daughter time, among a bunch of other eye-catcher items on clearance in the entryway, we found this journal. The timing of this little treasure was perfect because we had just talked about starting a journal of some kind together. (Thanks YaYa for that idea!) I love this idea of journaling between generations because it allows each of us to express ourselves in a deeper way and creates an heirloom piece of sorts. By comparing generational perspectives in a journal, I hope we can continue building safe places for us to express all the things we are going through in our lives at the moment. Plus, this journal has prompts!

I wrote my first entry this morning and will pass it on to my girl today for her to jot down her thoughts. Maybe this creative idea would be ideal for someone in your life too? After all, anyone could do this...father-son, sister-sister, best friends, or wife-husband. :)

#Hatmaker

Jen and Brandon Hatmaker's posts have been on my mind, in my prayers, and a part of my coffee cozy times. Maybe all of the hullabaloo blew right over you but I’ve wrestled! And my two days of deep reflection have combined into the following post...a post which is probably not the answer of "yes, I agree with them" or "no, they got it wrong" that you may be expecting.

God spent time reminded me that my life equals to a "snap of the finger" in the span of time. He has whispered to my heart, "Do you really desire to spend it in controversy?" 

Uh, no, Lord!

So instead, He says...

A) Read my Word

B) From it build your convictions on how YOU should live for Me

C) Then live it

Those three things in themselves are a huge undertaking! In this American culture of fb complaining and twitter finger-pointing, it is so easy to get things tilted. But today God brought me again to Jesus' words to Peter in John 21:21-22 where he basically said to get my eyes off others and "...You follow me!" So I will be A, B, and C'n it and will encourage others to A, B, and C it themselves. 

James 4:11-13 (TLB), “Don’t criticize and speak evil about each other, dear brothers. If you do, you will be fighting against God’s law of loving one another, declaring it is wrong. But your job is not to decide whether this law is right or wrong, but to obey it. Only He who made the law can rightly judge among us. He alone decides to save us or destroy. So what right do you have to judge or criticize others?”

What a fool's errand it is to try to apply scripture, like you would a Band-Aid, onto the life of someone else. Each of us has the choice to read the bible (or not) and apply it (or not). At the end of days, I don't believe you will be there advocating or condemning me nor I, you. Each of us will stand to give account of our life and decisions only.

In light of this, pardon me as I leave this conversation right here to instead focus on the A, B, and C above. 

May you be blessed. May your hope be in Jesus. May your life follow his Word. And as you stand to give account someday, may you be found to be in Him.  

The Secret Joy of Secret Giving Longterm

During the holiday season, we brainstorm together how to help...the homeless in downtown, the forgotten senior in the nursing home around the corner, or the fatherless in group homes who don't even realize even exist in our own neighborhoods.

Something about the timing & grandness of our "help" seems so...well counterfeit. We know planning a huge coat drive/food drive/toy drive meets "our" instant gratification and helps a few folks...but what about when they need help in January, or April, or some random weekend in June? Maybe a secret commitment to a cause for 6 months/year could really change someone's life...maybe it could even change YOUR life!

Are we not more like the people Jesus spoke about who give a tiny part of our "surplus"??? Mark 12: 42-44

Matthew 6:1-4 (NLT) Teaching about Giving to the Needy
Jesus said, “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. 2 When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 3 But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty. I'm very guilty...which is why God probably put it on my heart to write today and challenge myself and others. :) But you may be asking yourself...when is she going to get to the "secret joy" part?

Deuteronomy 15:10 "Give generously to the poor, not grudgingly, for the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do."

Galatians 5:22 "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness..."