A Gentle Jesus

When Peter saw Jesus walking on water, he asked the Lord to invite him to come join. With the invitation, Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on water too but then got afraid. Beginning to sink, he cried out to the Lord Jesus. Our Messiah reached out and saved him then said, "You have so little faith. Why did you doubt me?" Matthew 14:22-36

I've been moved lately to the conviction that Christians in general don't hear or speak enough about Christ. Instead the bulk of our speech and what we are taught is about "right living." I'm beginning to see how letting our conversation be saturated with talk of Jesus is a narrow road and how a focus on mostly "right living" is the broad one. So in our family times, and more in my conversations, I want to speak about him most because he is the Heart of All!!!

Last night during our family devotional, my daughter and I spoke about Jesus and it was amazing! Like many of us who didn't grow up consistently attending church, there is SO much about Jesus she doesn't know and what she perceives isn't biblically accurate. I can relate.

So as she described Jesus to me, and since she's reading through Matthew in her personal times with God, she brought up the story above and mentioned how mad Jesus was at Peter. Is that how you read it too? I remember as a younger Christian reading verses the same way! Do you read scriptures as though Jesus and God are totally frustrated at people all the time? Honestly, many of us do. Consider with me, though, Galatians 5:22-23. In this passage the fruits of the Holy Spirit are described, " love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." These descriptions are of God's spirit...so why do we so often read Jesus with a harsh or disappointing tone even if he's correcting?

Since the bible is not labeled with emoticons :) my suggestion to her, and to you, is to read Jesus with a fruit of the spirit tone unless there are words written to describe his tone differently. I described the verse above to my daughter again but in the light of thinking about when a child walks for the first time. See the excitement in the parent's eyes with each step the child makes...when they stumble or get scared most parents don't come back with a harsh tone. When a child is experiencing walking for the first time parents try to be there to swoop them up in their arms. So I see Jesus with excitement in his eyes as Peter takes his first steps of walking on water. Then I see him swooping him up like a father would his child in a huge hug when he got scared and began sinking. Then how Jesus spoke about faith and doubt but with compassion, gentleness and understanding.

I think when we see Jesus fully in the light of the fruit of the Spirit, our whole outlook and reading of his life on earth can make our hearts take a beautiful shift! Remember Jesus loves you.

Valentine Day Gift Ideas

 

Did you realize Valentine's day is only 28 days away. Don't wait until the last minute to plan for your special loved one. Take some time to really make them feel special. LOVE is awesome! Whether you are single, dating, or married the fact is we ALL have someone that we can show love and appreciation to. Here are some quick ideas to spark your mind and heart. Please add your own special touch to these and adapt them. I've started out with some basics and added variations to get your creative juices flowing. Enjoy spreading the love!

Gift ideas for Children

• Tic-Tacs & Tic Tac Toe board. This is precious, can be fun to play together and not too much sugar. 
• Make the bracelet above for your kid'o. Here's how: Heart bracelets
• My dad left for work early before mom and I had gotten out of bed but, even if the holiday fell on a weekend, he always left a red box of Valentine chocolates for my mom and a pink one for me when we woke up. Made me feel super special!
• Leave surprise notes all over the house for kids to find. On them share what you love and appreciate about them.
• Consider surprising your child in the morning by hanging hearts in their doorway. (or all over the house) On the hearts, write sweet words of encouragement and love. Check Hearts Galore idea here. (picture below)
  

Gifts ideas for Women

• Romantic: Simple wine glass (dollar stores are a great place to buy one) - if it's painted, even better. Fill with chocolate, or hand written encouragement notes. Tie a fancy red ribbon around the base for special touch. ** Variation: buy two and enjoy some wine/sparkling cider with a toast in a location that's special to you both. Add simple grapes/cheeses for an "indoor picnic".
• Poetic: Buy a small, cute box. Write your own poem(s) or print off some special ones. Roll up like a scroll and tied with a fancy red ribbon. Place some real rose petals or silk flowers inside the box along side the poems. Wrap and give with a sweet valentine card.** Variation: After the gift is opened, recite these poems personally to your special person. If there is a special item mentioned in the poem (like a rose, jewelry, etc) consider handing it to them as you speak those words in the poem.
• Dreamers: Purchase an inexpensive book that would inspire your special person. Inside write a sweet note of love and encouragement. Consider flipping through the book and marking some pages that you think they will enjoy with heart shaped memos.** Variation: Spend time together flipping through the book or making a dream list. Cozy book stores or in front of a fireplace are great locations for this.
• Inspiration: On squares of beautiful, valentine card stock, write out inspiring quotes or sayings. Carefully hole punch the left corner of each square and loop all the cards together with fancy red ribbon. Please a few chocolates inside and wrap in a pretty valentine box. ** Variation: make each card have positive affirmations or romantic quotes. You can also write on each card things you love about your special person.
• Simple reminders: Fill a picture frame (valentine theme a bonus) with encouraging words, favorite poems, funny pictures of the two of you, things you have drawn etc. Wrap in valentine gift wrap and include a sweet card. **Variation: Keep & display items from dates by creating a shadow box and embellishing with hearts inside. Some examples are: ticket stubs, branded napkin from a favorite restaurant, tokens, photographs...etc...

Gifts ideas for Men

• Are there any successful men or someone he admires? Fill a small photo album with quotes from them. Gift-wrap in valentine style and consider writing to him why he is a man you admire.  
• Gift him a special valentine card and with it provide a food gift certificate/gas card inside. Guys do enjoy practical things sometimes.
• Gift him tickets to his favorite upcoming sporting event. Surprise him by placing them in a place he won't expect it.
• Want a gift that gives on Valentine's day and beyond? Give a food, beer, or wine of the month club gift certificate.
• Cook him a special or favorite lunch/dinner. If a lunch, consider if there is a way to deliver to him at work. If dinner, set a special valentine atmosphere.
• Bake him something sweet! Wrap up in a simple valentine box and surprise deliver. Consider sharing with him what you find to be "sweet" about him.
• Buy an accessory for his favorite gadget. Package in a valentine box. Share with him all the special ways he improves your life and makes you smile. 

Here's an idea of a funny, homemade 3-D card. I thought this was priceless and perfect for all those in love! Origami Valentine

 Pop-up Cards instructions:

 

• Fold a colorful sheet of paper in half vertically.
• On the fold, cut four short lines near the middle of that fold.
• Push the two “flaps” these cuts make towards the inside of the card and make a crease.
• With construction paper cut out balloons, flowers, or letters spelling your message.
• Tape or glue these items to the “flaps” inside your card. (make sure these items do not stick out when the card is closed)
• Glue another piece of paper around the edges to the outside of the card.
• Write any further messages. (design and date the back)

Victory Jar 2014 & Adoption Day!

This morning I'm reading all my victories that I recorded in 2014. It's amazing how many of these I forget as the year passes. These are not only my personal victories but beautiful things that happened which made me feel special and loved. Of course, our "gotcha day" was the biggest so I'll finally be able to share pictures now that it's done. They are at the end of the post. Anyway, I'm so grateful I had these written so I can remember and smile! Random order...

• Began visiting a nursing and rehab facility in my neighborhood to encourage the residents there 
• Completed some projects at work that went wonderful and received praise from my boss
• Had my first respite visit and was able to love up on a young sibling group from foster care
• Worship God at night under the stars
• Memorize a new poem
• Completed my photo album for the adoption agency and began submitting homestudy for potential children
• Enjoyed the company of two best friends who came over with dinner and prayed with me during an extremely challenging time this year 
• Secret serving of another
• Began zendoodling 
• Planned a wonderful "Strength Weekend" for me and some close friends to get away and get closer to God
• Met my daughter for the first time...
• Received gift from church for my daughter to attend teen camp and a teen weekend
• Put a hybrid exercise machine together by myself
• Made dinner for a couple and served them in my home
• Had an funky and unique 40th birthday party at a spa & trendy hotel with friends
• I was called "Mom" for the first time by my girl.
• Followed God's spirit and left an ill-fitted group at church
• Connected with several parents who foster teens
• Joined an amazing family group in my church, in my area - their support this year has been incredible
• Finished ALL that paperwork for the adoption
• Successful sweet 16 birthday party for my daughter :)
• Had an amazing July 4th and family reunion to introduce my potential daughter to extended family
• Terrific "girls weekend" with my momma
• Enjoyed a segway adventure and David Garrett concert with my folks
• Joined a parenting/teen class with my girl
• Challenged a book in the library of my girl's high school and WON! They reviewed it and decided it's subject matter was too pornographic and pulled it from the shelves
• Got a wonderful new treadmill to exercise
• Opened up and shared deeply with friends about some fears and hurts from others
• Finished Christmas shopping early to help my budget
• Started a prayer journal to widen my prayer life
• Heard a great message about embracing the full ministry of Jesus "The Great Compassion" 
• Survived cat dental cleaning and other cat health issues - ha
• Great friend traveled to my job several time to have lunch with me and encourage me
• Coworker praised me to my boss
• Asked my girl if she would be open to us "adopting" each other - she said yes!
• Planned annual trip to hometown and got to see an answered prayer of my daughter seeing the passion play with me that I watched as a teen!
• Completed the sponsorship of a teen in the Compassion program - Chidodolo graduated on to police school
• Enjoyed a day of "healing" - rain, butterflies and special time with God
• Decorated for the holidays with my daughter and enjoyed seeing things as she experienced it
• Amazing family photo session to celebrate my new family
• Adoption Day! Family, friends, laughter and so much joy
• Began new family, new traditions, new life!

I'm certain more things happened during the months before the adoption but that I was just too busy to record them. Ultimately this has been a life changing and amazing year! I'm so grateful and in awe. Life is good and God's plans are best. 

Introducing my new smart, funny and beautiful daughter. :) 

My best friend support team! 

The moment after the judge granted our adoption.

My amazing parents! I'm so grateful for their support.

Would have been tough without this crew as our support.

The one who calls me Mom. :) 

Gotcha

Yesterday, I adopted Rene. I wanted to record the moments so I'd never forget. After opening up our facebook albums so people could see our past 7 months together, I woke her up for a cereal breakfast of cinnamon toast crunch and Disney music (just in case she had any nerves). We got ready...not everything was working out for me though...I couldn't find some of the clothes I wanted to wear. I remember needing to check my heart as my girl was in the living room alone playing games on her DS on a huge day in her life while I was stressing about not finding the slacks I wanted to wear. So I tossed expectations to the side and focused on encouraging her and being with her until my folks arrived from out of town. We piled in my car and I drove us to the family court house. We found great parking! yay.

After going through security and meeting up with all the friends who had come to support us, we went to the 5th floor and I met the lawyer for the first time. He talked us through what would happen a bit more and shared the questions he'd ask me and what Rene would be asked. I got real emotional as he asked some basic questions. My friend Guy-Michel began taking pictures while we waited and before I knew it (although we had probably waited about 30 minutes outside the courtroom) the lawyer came out of the court room and called my name. We all ushered in..I thought to sit down to be called but instead they moved us right in front to stand before the judge! Rene and I stood there with our family and friends behind us for support and they swore us all in.

Then the sweet gentlemanly voice of our lawyer started to ask me questions. I was thankful that my spirit and voice felt full of conviction when I answered "yes, sir." to basic questions then the more serious ones of my commitment to care for Rene forever, my financial ability to care for her, and if I believed this was the best thing for her. Then the judge asked my sweet girl several questions ranging from grades and plans for the future through to her desire to live with me, if she felt this was the best decision for her. Next, the judge asked our family and friends the question on if they would be here to support Rene too. Finally, the judge granted our adoption of each other and we hugged. That's when I started to cry for sure! She whispered, "You're not crying are you?" and I said, "Of course I am!" and I hugged her tight. The judge gave her a blue and white teddy bear, which she kissed the ear of and got lipstick on which was super cute and we exited the courtroom. She named the bear Paschal which I'm not sure if she realizes is part of our lawyer's name.

We went back outside the courtroom to wait on the lawyer to get some paperwork in process and to me. In the meantime, we took pictures on the staircase. I saw my papa lean down and whisper things in her ear, of his encouragement and pride I'm sure, to which she stated to us, "Now I'll carry on the family name." Ahhh....after speaking to the lawyer and saying bye to the CPS and my adoption agency worker, we headed off to the Cracker Barrel. :)

Of course, I realized when exiting the garage that I had lost our ticket...ha, of course, how was I going to keep up with such a small thing on such a big occasion! hee hee. We got to the restaurant, ordered and opened presents. My mom gave Rene a beautiful James Avery leather double-wrap bracelet with a silver heart to which my alternative daughter swiftly turned into a choker necklace and I received a beautiful silver necklace with a pendant that reads, "born in my heart." We got some much needed picture frames and some baking aprons from a dear family of friends. The aprons are priceless because there are four of them and they read, "Grandma Baker," "Grandpa Baker," "Momma Baker" and hers which reads, "Now, I'm a Baker too." Ahhhhh....we ate and enjoyed the breakfast then went home.

Later, while watching her beat a Wii game, Rene asked, "Did you have a good day?" I laughed and said, "the best!" then I asked her, "Did you?" to which she rolled her eyes in the way that teens do and said "no" but then smiled and said, "Of course!' Later we had some visitors stop by with congratulations cookies.

Scriptures for a New Mom

Today is exactly three weeks until we finalize the adoption! I find myself all excited and nervous at the same time. I'm a first time mom and I feel the weight of responsibility as a single mom by choice because really...I don't know what I'm doing! Ha. Seriously, I do question sometimes if I'm even relying on God enough, am I sharing about God enough, am I making this time special for her, am I in tune with her needs and hurts, her desires and hopes...am I being a good momma? 

Also, I'm ready to get back to a somewhat "normal" routine for me. My daughter and I have established one for us but in my hours when she is at school it's full of work - and a call from CPS, next an email from my adoption agency, but it's the 1st of the month so all my foster/adoption monthly paperwork needs to get completed and emailed and oh, that reminds me, I've got to send that signed paperwork back to the lawyer but first there was something really important I needed to do...oh yeah, pay BILLS! Yikes. What a whirlwind! This little paragraph does it no justice for the outsider.

Thank you Jesus for putting it on my friend's heart, Angie, to send me this little reminder of scriptures below! It's helping me out today. Let's face it, adoption is a HUGE step! And not just for my daughter but for me too...so I know I need to chill out some and rest in God (even in my ability to rest in God - LOL). 

Besides just getting off the phone with my friend Esther and talking through some of my other emotions, something else that's been helping is the example Katie sets in her book called, "Kisses from Katie." I am always moved at how much Katie gushes as a new mom about her new foster-to-adopt daughters. Today I feel the need to follow her example and remind myself what an amazing young lady God's placed in my life.

My sweet girl: She's got such a heart of perseverance! She feels emotions deeply and likes to take care of others. She does small things all the time to show her love (like putting a Zip-Lock bag of dark chocolate covered espresso beans in my purse this morning as a surprise). She's a smart young woman who does great in school (just 3 points shy of all A's) and is competitive in the type of way that makes her successful but doesn't overpower others. She enjoys ALL kinds of animals and has shown extreme patience as she's tried to befriend our shy cat, Manna. The other day he let her hold him like a baby! She's the only other one besides me who has ever had that privilege.

One thing I really enjoy about her is her intense desire to laugh. She cracks herself up all the time. We laugh and have begun having inside jokes and routines which are beyond special! She is playful, caring and has a child-like nature that is completely endearing. My daughter is super creative and crafty (DIY - she is currently making Christmas ornaments that are sequin pokemon balls) and if reading was an Olympic sport, I know she would blow the competition away.

I very much admire all the times she is open about her day, her dreams, her thoughts and her hurts. Any tear that she sheds is so special to me because I know she does not have to be that vulnerable with me...but when she shares her emotions I know that she's made the decision to trust my love. Not many young people at her age (sweet 16) carry that kind of openness, especially after dealing with the foster care system. It makes me understand more deeply the specialness of Psalm 56:8 as to why my own tears are so special to my God. He knows we don't have to be vulnerable so when we choose to open our hearts and emotions to Him of course they would be special to Him too! God has blessed her with a fun, light spirit and He has blessed me with her! As my friend put it in a text today, having her as my daughter is my "destiny." :)

Adoption - It Is Time!!

Psalm 16:8 - I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

Dear Readers,

Please forgive my short break from blogging. I've been praying, fasting, seeking advice, reading, experiencing, laughing, crying, training and doing much soul searching for the past 4.5 months and this has allowed me very little time for blogging creatively.  Ah motherhood! :)

And now...it is time. I made the decision yesterday to start the formal process of adopting my new 15 yr. old daughter. It's hard to believe she moved in with me just a short time ago from foster care. I was pretty certain that adoption would be the outcome but as I prayed previously, I didn't get the impression that I should move forward just yet. 

At first this was scary and confusing!!! I didn't understand the feeling or why the Spirit was not giving the green light but I got surrendered that I needed to wait. After becoming okay with waiting, suddenly it became clear that I needed to wait until I had read the CPS file. My agency specialist and I bugged CPS for 8 weeks then finally, yesterday...I received it and finished reading it! It took me 1 hr per each large binder to read through all the paperwork.

So last night, over pizza and watching Mickey Mouse in french, my girl and I sat at the table (by her request) and discussed adoption in full. I told her I wanted to adopt her and asked if she would like this? Would she like to consider me as her family...her forever family? She said YES with the most beautiful smile - I will never forget it!

My daughter is kind, full of joy, rambunctious, thoughtful and smart as a whip! What a blessing she's been to me. All the ways she encourages me, spends time with me, and loves up on me is a treasure. :) We also talked about the options she has concerning her name. She decided she wants to take my last name and keep her bio dad's family name as her middle name. That makes me so happy I can't even express! :D

Next steps?
I'm guessing tons more paperwork, stress, excitement, and challenges. It may be that my girl and I experience some fear: fear of the "bottom dropping out" or nerves about the future, but I will continue towards trusting God and I have faith in Him. My hope is that in some way I can also steel in her heart and mind this trust and faith too! My Lord has brought us a long way. A long way! 

 This is me and my daughter 

May our story make Him happy and encourage people towards Him. I pray others consider adopting too... especially a teen!

WE COULD STILL USE PRAYERS! Please pray for God to protect us during this process, for no barriers to pop up, and for much open communication, happiness and laughter during this time in our lives which we are certain to never forget. 

ps. I'm also praying that one of the photographers who donate sessions to adoption families will become available to capture this special event once everything is set! 

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

Waiting and Growing

Lately I've been reading a new blog during my Coffee & Cozy times with God. Today's entry from "She Reads Truth" hit a cord with my heart because it's about waiting. I got a ping on my heart with the sentence the author wrote ...

"The waiting isn’t just the hardest part, it’s the growing part." 

As Sarah Mathey continued sharing about her own waiting story of adopting, she shared, "We should think of the waiting as our labor pains. The contractions are getting stronger, closer together, more and more painful, the longer the process continues. While we are waiting, we are changing– [God's] changing us in the waiting.

This season in life is both exciting and challenging. Since my whole routine flipped upside down in May, I don't feel as close to God as I did when it was just me in the house. I think I've been fighting to find my "way back" instead of waiting and simply growing into the fresh relationship that God seems to be trying to develop as I build a family. Also, right now I'm waiting for the Spirit to move and watching like an Israelite who keeps their eye on the pillar of cloud and that's okay too. I tend to be a 'planner' and sometimes a "rusher" so this waiting is good for me.

What is going on in your life right now? Is there a season of waiting? Maybe you are waiting for a result, an open/closed door, healing, freedom, help, or direction. If so, please know you are not alone. May you find comfort that Jesus loves you. And just maybe he is speaking words to you, like he did the winds and the waves, "Peace, be still!' [Mark 4:39]

May you find this peace in your wait. 

While I'm Waiting - John Waller (with lyrics)