The Decision to Glorify God

Think back to the last time you had a life changing decision in front of you. How did you make it? Did you pray? Get Advice? Search the scriptures or books? Make a pros verses cons list? Research on the internet for what others do?

Well, I have one of the biggest decisions of my life in front of me. There is a wonderful 15 year old teenager living in my home who just happens to also be a part of the foster care system. As our relationship is deepening, I believe we want to adopt each other but how do I make the final decision that this is the right path to take for both of us? And whatever path is chosen, when times get tough, how am I going to remain confident in my decision?!?!

You might think at this stage the decision would be easy...but life changing decisions are never simple or easy. 

Romans 12:2 says, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

I want to know what God's will is for me! I know God is trying to do some transformation in my thinking through all this. Today, I heard a woman say that when planning her wedding she really tried to consider what would be most glorifying to God. I felt the Spirit tug at me.

The Spirit is urging me to focus on the path that would most glorify God!

But what does glorifying God mean? Since I'm so detailed oriented, I had to make sure I knew what this common phrase meant. Defined - to glorify means to reveal or make clearer the glory (the magnificence/great beauty/high renown) of God by one's actions. So the question is what path would best reveal God and spotlight Him for others. 

Let's be honest, in most decisions we focused on "what do I want" or "what's best for me" questions. And yet when you think instead (hello, transforming of the mind) "what would best glorify God" that changes everything! 

• Which choice puts a beautiful spotlight on God?
• Which path/action reveals Him to others?
• Is my desire to glorify God the most important factor when making this decision? 

Well, within the thought of glorifying God and considering adoption, these scriptures have been helpful!  

2 Corinthians 8:9 (NLT) ^"You know the generous grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich." Adoption is a sacrifice but imitation of my Lord Jesus...that would glorify God.

Hebrews 13:16 (NLT) "And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God." Opening up my life and family...that would glorify God.

John 15:12-13 ^"This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." Laying down my life, in all the many ways that adoption calls for...that would glorify God. 

After much prayer, I know there is one final "wall' I must climb before I can make the final decision. The Spirit is prompting me to wait until it is climbed and I know that's why I've not been able to make this life changing decision fully yet BUT I believe the ultimate path is becoming more and more clear as God continues to open doors of hope and I focus on the decision to glorify God! 

What about you? Do you have a life-changing decision you need to make? Then, I pray these little thoughts & scriptures help. :) 

Stress Relief from Music

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. 

It sings because it has a song."

Last Friday was a particularly hard day. I got a chance to hear from my foster daughter's own lips about her childhood. It was almost more than I could handle but I put on my mommy spirit to stay strong and supportive so that my girl could express all her emotions. Then I had to go straight to work. :( By the time I got to a special church event that night, my nerves were shot because they'd been bottled too long. As people encouraged me with hugs and sweet words, all I could really do was cry. Then Sunday, I let myself get too stressed when three different conflicts popped up. So by Monday, I woke up with a sore throat, sneezing, and a tooth that is really sensitive. Today my voice is almost completely gone. Is it allergies? A common cold? Sinus infection? I don't know but somehow I suspect that STRESS is negatively affecting my immune system.


Reflecting on all this started me thinking today about music. Recently, my daughter and I downloaded Disney music from several different movies. We've been singing along with them every chance we get and it has been bonding for us to be in the car belting out lyrics to each other of, "you ain't never had a friend like me" [Aladdin] and "Hakuna Matata" [Lion King].

Even today, I'm listening to music and it's helping so much. Probably nothing new to anyone but music can be an amazing tool. I've always believed that people who walk around humming and singing carry a lot of joy in their hearts. Something I truly appreciate about my girl is how much she sings and laughs. She's had to deal with a ton of loss in her short life but I strongly believe she lives with more joy and laughter than most people. 

So, just in case you need a pick-me-up too, besides clicking on the links for the Aladdin & Lion King songs above, here are a few I've been listening to today. And yes, my music style is diverse, some are older and some are silly but they do have me bobbing bob my head:

Radioactive (cover) 
Don't Worry, Be Happy
Happy 
Twist & Shout
Day-O 
Power of Love 
Cups (When I'm Gone) 

Footloose 
Roar 

Three Birds 
Hound Dog 
Brave
Ghostbusters
 
 

PS.
 CLICK HERE & WATCH THIS FUN VIDEO

Single Foster-to-Adopt Mom: Carving out "me time"

Life seems to be moving too fast to blog much lately! As you may have read from previous posts, as a new single mom I'm really trying to be better about taking care of myself. Below are some ideas that I've been implementing lately in my own self-care practices:

1. Using my shower time. Guilt free...take some extra time to relax, pray, mediate, pamper myself.
2. Meal help - During a very stressful week, taking someone up on their offer to bring over a meal. (thanks Pree!!!!)
3. Be creative - Zentangles and simple pencil drawings on black paper have been my mental break to help me file away the day and unwind. , I copied the idea of the drawing above from a pin I saw on pinterest that linked to this site.
4. Use your kids bedtime routine- If your child is older, take advantage of their time getting ready for bed (while they shower & brush their teeth etc...) to get some alone time
5. Find a low maintenance hobby - The advantage is that it's low cost. It also helps to take your mind of the day's stress and places it into the moment. Examples: taking care of a few plants/your backyard, juggling, do a word search or jumble puzzle each night...
6. Exercise. Sometimes I jump on the treadmill in the living room while my teen watches a cartoon on tv. 
7. Imitate your pet. I've made the decision when I see one of my cats stretch, I'll stretch my body too. It sounds funny but it's a great reminder because cats are excellent at "self-care" and relaxation. 
8. Ask for a hug. I've found I really need hugs more than I get. I read this article that said it's good to have 8 hugs at day!! EIGHT! I need to start asking for more hugs. LOL. I get a few from my teen and some on Wed/Sundays when I see people at church but otherwise am very thirsty for them :)
9. Use a chair massage/heating pad. My body is holding onto stress a bunch. Right now, I can't afford regular massages but I splurged a few years ago to buy one of those simple massagers that plug in and you place in a chair. It's been a great investment. Also, my heating pad helps on days I'm exhausted and my muscles are tight. It's easy to sit and listen to my kid'o tell me all about her day. I can even have it on at the dinner table.
10. Play online educational games. Sometimes the mental break I need isn't just resting but working on a different type of "problem." So I have been using sites like lumosity and funtotype so my mind can take on a simple but different types of challenges. 

If you have any special tips you use, please let me know. :) 

The Escape! Why we NEED self-care.

Last week was tough and I was reminded of the valuable lesson in self-care. It's essential! 

Yeah, yeah, I'm not sharing anything you've not heard or read before but... there is a difference between the knowledge of something and the practice of something. 

I had the knowledge of self-care...I thought I was practicing it but when I had an emotional crash last Monday night, my body said, "Nope, you are not listening!" and basically my adoption specialist agreed. My daughter went into a respite home for 4 days. Yup, and I had a hard time with that...it was really the worse I've seen my pride in a while...ugly pride. I specifically remember saying to my specialist, "bio parents don't get respite." And while this is true...it doesn't mean I shouldn't take the opportunity God has given me. As a foster mom, the state provides respite to myself and my daughter. A humble woman should take it, especially when she's standing there crying in the bathroom at her wits end while on the phone with her specialist.

A few days after our conversation, after I had some sleep, a clearer mind and a quiet house, I decided to jump in the Prius, drive to a local park, pop the hatchback and jump in the back to do some inspirational reading and writing while looking out over the park.

After the first hour my mind kicked in and said, "You have stuff you NEED to do! Why are you just sitting here?" I started feeling anxious and prayed. During my prayer I realized my busy mind was fighting the "stress detox" and self care I was doing. Being busy can be an addiction of sorts and if we have an addictive personality it's easy to trade one addiction for another even as we grow in our relationship with God. These may be less scary addictions than drugs/alcohol like addiction to a certain sport, to coffee, to gaming, and the like but we still use them ultimately to do what all addictions do...numb. I've found that especially during stressful times, I need to be going to God to meet my needs. 

Because I've learned to recognize my tendency in this, I forced myself to stay...two more hours...so that I could calm my restless spirit, get some much needed peace from God and some perspective. 

So, why do we need self-care? Because truly, to take care of others, we must take care of ourselves. 

As I was looking online for encouragement and reminders for self care, especially as a foster-to-adopt parent, I came across this statement: "When a foster or adopted child has special needs, parents must juggle appointments with mental health therapists, occupational therapists, physical therapists, speech therapists, psychiatrists, ophthalmologists, allergists, and asthma specialists. They must attend IEP meetings, keep in touch with the school principal and their child’s teacher, check in with the social worker, and establish a schedule for personal care attendants (PCAs). Ongoing appointments and emergencies keep parents so busy that attending to their own feelings and needs may be put on hold.

Self-care, however, is crucial for foster and adoptive parents. The physical and emotional toll of caring for traumatized children can be overwhelming. Children can project hurt onto parents and, at the same time, blame parents for feelings of loss and despair. Parents must understand both the complexities of foster care and adoption, and their child’s unique needs. With that knowledge and an ongoing commitment to self-care, parents can more easily remain effective and balanced." article link - here

So for me, this statement hit so close to home that my eyes started watering - "Ongoing appointments and emergencies keep parents so busy that attending to their own feelings and needs may be put on hold." My daughter arrived 2 months ago and life has been a whirlwind of trying to get to know her & building a bond, getting her in school, day camp, church camp, there have been medical appointments with 5/6 different doctors plus meetings with my agency and CPS, completing daily and monthly paperwork, and somehow trying to fit in time for her to hang out with teens her own age! 

So the question, "When can I take some time for me?" just wasn't a true priority. As I'm reflecting on self care, I realize that on top of all the activity above, I had started skipping lunches at work, have been eating less balanced meals, usually get only 6/7 hrs per night of sleep, have only exercised 3 times in the last two months, am not blogging and deeply expressing my feelings/emotions and just surviving off of shorter times with God and zendoodles for a creative outlet. My poor self care decisions must change. So I'll be praying about having a better plan to help me daily with self care...oh, and here's the new book I just downloaded to inspire me. 

Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster and Adoptive Families [Kindle Edition] 

For those readers who are Christians, check out this article about self care as well! It provides some thoughts to chew on and consider. I really like the "What's my job?" and "Hearing God" paragraphs! : Codependency and Self-Care by Don Smith


I'm very hopeful that I can grow in this area and do better at self-care too. Anyway, that's a little update from my world. Take care of yourself too, my friend!

The Blessing of Escape - written during my time at the park

"It's too easy to judge myself and my experiences. The fact is I needed a bit of an adventure and escape. So with a backpack full of the books that most encourage and inspire me, I took off in the Prius to a local park. I sit here, resting with the hatchback open, listening to too many cars rush by and a non-working windmill whaling like an ancient dinosaur. Still the breeze is nice as it electrifies the misty rain and, when there is a break in the traffic, I can hear Mother Nature's crickets, birds, rustling leaves and well sadly, that  is just about it - ha - but my spirit, mind, & body needs some nature and change of scenery right now. I need to notice small details and vast openness. I need to be reminded of life outside of my own. I need rest but was feeling closed in at the house! I need to watch the hawk circle. I need to see summer in bloom on a rainy day. After all the rain is God's encouragement to me today. How do I take this home with me? Having the windows open wasn't enough. It takes more time, little heart and mind,...to purge. Stop your rushing. Stop your judging."

Today Is Calling You

“Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don’t rent them out to tomorrow. Do you know what you’re doing when you spend a moment wondering how things are going to turn out...? You’re cheating yourself out of today. Today is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up the next morning and that today you wasted is gone forever. It’s now yesterday...” ― Jerry Spinelli, Love, Stargirl 

- unique lighting at a recent event - just had to stop and appreciate it -

Are you up for trying some new things?! :)

1. Chew with your eyes shut. The other day at lunch I placed a bite of food in my mouth and shut my eyes. Suddenly, I found that the rest of my senses kicked into gear. I felt the texture of the food in my mouth, focused on the taste and smell, and found myself chewing slower. It's amazing to realize how much our eyes can distract us from the other senses. Totally worth trying!
2. Drive a different way home. Since I have a new job, I've had many opportunities to try different routes. Over the next few days, take a new way home...even if it's just one street different. Engage your vision and look for something new and interesting!
3. Describe. So often we go through the day on cruise control. Take a moment, even right now, and describe something you see around you. Is there something unique around you in nature? What about your home/office...how would you describe it someone in a different country? Look out the nearest window and jot down some interesting words about what you see.
4. Work with your hands. Work a different part of the brain by either doing a craft, gardening, or working on some other physical project. (check out this unique article to learn more: The Health Benefits of Working With Your Hands. For example, I've been looking for a cute Christmas tree skirt for several years. I finally found one that I liked on Etsy but it was $85! I decided to at least try to make my own before I'd ever spend that kind of money. So I spent about 2 hours creating one. I was amazed how great I felt afterward! (will post photos soon)
5. Walk casually. You don't really have to race from one point to the other. This morning, I saw a dad walking across campus with a little boy in tow. The young one was so out of breath trying to tell his dad a story and keep up that his feet almost didn't get a chance to hit the ground. Really?! So for a bit try meandering a bit, or stroll, mosey, wander, dawdle, ramble along sometimes. (actually, I think it's good to do most of the time)

 Here are some quotes to further inspire!

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” ― Henry David Thoreau

 “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt 

Being Still - by guest blogger, Lori

Earlier in the year, myself and a few girl friends went away for a weekend. We called it our "Strength Weekend" and it was designed so we could relax,  strengthen our relationship with God, and get closer to each other. We talked, prayed, watched an inspiring movie, played croquet and had a communion pancake breakfast. Also, each of us shared a lesson of something on our heart. Below is one lesson that was shared. I hope you'll find encouragement in her thoughts. :)

Being Still 

by Lori

The main scripture I want us to focus on: “Be STILL and know that I am God” –Psalm 46:10a

Since last year I realized my body has been telling me things are not going well.

-Depression (no joy, a week long, sad and wanted to be alone)

-Sick (Jan-Feb) 

I started thinking maybe I don’t know how to relax, how to take in the moments, or even how to listen to my own body when it needs rest.

As women do we know how to be still? Can I sit in one spot and take in God's Glory without thinking about my to-do list, my job, my pet, my worries, and my replay of previous events. Can I just sit here and take in the sound of the wind blowing the leaves, the wind chimes playing music, or do I hear the world and all its to-do’s?

#1 Live in the now, don't wait for tomorrow

-Don’t overload your schedule

“Look, I am Coming Soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done." ~Revelations 22:12

-Your schedule may not be packed to the max like some others and you may feel you are not doing your best because you’re not running around like a headless chicken. It's important to focus on what I do today and if it would make Jesus proud? (The little things)

-Think about the moment, about today, what you are doing

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  ~Matthew 6:34

-Don’t get caught up in worrying about things that could happen in the future. Example: Cleaning, planning my future, my projects/crafts, etc.

*Be still and LIVE in the moment

#2 Take the time to Love and Encourage yourself 

-Take care of yourself by treating yourself as one of God's treasures

“For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” ~Romans 14:7-8

-The world makes us believe that we own ourselves; God says we belong to him.

-Honor God with your body

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”  ~1 Corinthians 6:19-20

-The World believes that your body is an image and that we can do whatever we want to our bodies. We should ask ourselves, would Jesus do this to his body?

- Feel good about ourselves and where we are at physically and mentally. Sleepy, then get rest. Weak, then work out.

*Be still and Love, Encourage, and Honor your body.

 #3 A day of rest is crucial

-Do you know what happens to a battery when it keeps running? It dies quicker. We are no different.

“Six days of work shall be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest.”  ~Exodus 31:15a

-What is solemn rest? True Rest?

-Definition of solemn is characterized by deep sincerity; serious (syn.-somber, grave, honest, genuine, wholehearted, firm)

-God is the only one to give us the solemn rest we need

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  ~Matthew 11:28

-A true reset is to give it all to God so you may receive rest.

-You and the body/temple God gave will let you know how much rest is enough. That could be once a week to once every four months.

-It can be tough to keep this day sacred but if you do not get what you need you could end up sick and miss more than 1 day.

*Be still and REST.

Now, take a moment & practice being still (deep breathing and focus on breath)

 

craft with one of the lessons

communion breakfast

A Time for Everything

Have you ever tried to control the weather?
Or tell that rain cloud, "Don't pour yet!" 
What about the Winter or Summer? Have you ever tried to hold them back from arriving? 

This sounds silly and honestly, it is silly. We all know that we cannot do one thing to change the weather in an instant or stop how the seasons change.

Yet today I realized I try to do just that. I try to stop the seasons from changing. I even get disappointed when they do change. It may not be the weather's seasons I'm trying to control but I totally try to hold back the seasons of life. I'm not writing about the huge, hard things such as death or illness. I'm talking about regular 'ole changes like changes in relationships, career, my body as I age, or even the group of people God wants me to serve. I know the year will flow from one season to another yet for some reason I've gotten it in my mind that a season of life should always stay where it is...or at least be there as long as I think it should. When it doesn't, I get overly frustrated or sad. Silly me. Can you relate? 

Right now, I'm pondering how to better embrace those things that are just plain GOING to happen. As I try to change my mind set and get more comfortable with change, here are a few things I've found so far that I really like:

• Click the links below: Seasons of Life
• Read: Seize your season & the IDTA bracelet

You may often see me wearing this pendant I bought at James Avery. I wear this as a reminder that whatever is going on in my life right now...it's just one season.

Ecclesiastes 3:109
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace