The Quiet Question That Guides Me

Recent Sunflower at my home

Some choices pull you in fast, but not every pull is worth following. I’ve been asking myself a question and it's been helping me cut through the noise and find what actually feels right. Basically it's, “What am I really reaching for?” And this is helping me see my true desires verses those that are negatively emotion driven. 

• True Desires reflect your values and support your long-term goals.

• Emotional driven feelings are temporary distractions, filler impulses or disguised needs.

Here are a few examples:

• About to scroll social media: Am I craving connection or just avoiding boredom? What am I really reaching for?

• Feeling I need to exercise: Do I want to care for my body or just a response to outside pressure. What am I really reaching for?

• Sudden urge for a new purchase: Do I really need this or am wanting the thrill of impulse buying? What am I really reaching for?

• Considering a new commitment: Do I genuinely want to be part of it, or am I saying yes out of obligation. What am I really reaching for?

• Calling a friend: Do I want to connect with them or am I seeking their reassurance or validation? What am I really reaching for?

This little check-in has been helping me choose activities with intention instead of reaction. It’s a shift I didn’t know I needed until recently so I thought I'd share. :) 

Soft Words for Anxious Moments

My Recent Watercolor Painting

Oh Life.

I've been so stressed. Lately, it feels like I’m going through my first real rounds with anxiety. My “triage” go-to options for self-care have been packed full of fantastic ideas for years now. But lately, there’s just too much hard change for those to keep up. What I’m needing isn’t more tips or activities, but ideas to shift my internal language. Something deeper; something steadier.

Many times, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. Creating small moments of calm can help when our nervous system feels overwhelmed, when the noise outside of us is too much, or when our own thoughts won’t quiet down. So here are some deeper language tools I’m exploring to help steady my mind. 

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1. Name the Feeling, Then Rename It Kindly

I'm trying to say out loud what I'm experiencing. “I feel overwhelmed.” “I’m tense.” Or even, “I don’t know what I feel, but it’s heavy.” Then following it up with something softer like, “And it makes sense,” or “This won’t last forever.” Sometimes self-soothing starts by giving ourselves permission to feel.

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2. “What’s True Right Now?”

I ask that question quietly, almost like a prayer. Then answer with facts of things around me, not fears. For example: “What's true right now? I’m okay. I may be _____ (emotion here), but I can make it past this. The lights are on. My feet are on the floor. I can hear the birds singing.” Sometimes truths of the moment (sight, sound, touch) pull our minds back from the edge.

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3. Create a “Go-To Phrase” That You Memorize

I'm trying out a short phrase to repeat when I'm anxious or scattered. A few examples:

• “I can take this one breath at a time.” When everything feels like too much, we can narrow our focus. We don’t always need a plan—just this breath.

• “I am still learning, even in the middle of this.” A reminder that growth and change continue at every age, even when life feels messy.

• “This is uncomfortable, not unsafe.” For moments when fear or anxiety is loud but not rooted in actual danger.

I keep it short and emotionally honest then say it slowly.

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4. Tell Someone You're Struggling (Even Briefly)

Many times, I don't need someone to solve it, but I just need to say it: “I’m having a weird day,” or “I’m feeling off.” Saying it out loud to someone I trust helps me shift my inner state from isolated to connected, even if nothing changes externally. And still, ultimately, I will not let myself be afraid to reach out to a counselor, therapist, or doctor to get extra support.

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5. Use “Part of Me” Language

Instead of saying, “I’m freaking out,” I'm using, “A part of me is feeling overwhelmed right now." This approach acknowledges my difficult emotions without making my feelings all that I am. I might also say, "A part of me is sad while another part  ____ [fact based positive outlook]," so that I'm in balance. Positive outlook examples could be: 1. knows this season will pass, 2. knows I've gotten through hard times before, 3. knows I've done my best.

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6. “This Feeling Isn’t a Forecast.”

Just because I feel dread doesn’t mean something bad is coming. So, I've been reminding myself, “This is a feeling, not a prophecy.” This helps reframe my anxiety as an internal wave, not an external warning.

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7. “Today, I’m Allowed to Be a Human.”

This one is for the days when I feel like I'm just carrying too much. I'll speak it gently to try to let the weight shift off my shoulders, even just a little. Just giving myself permission to be okay with not being on my A-game.

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BONUS IDEA: Heart Hold Tap

This one is especially helpful when we’re feeling emotionally raw, disconnected, or overwhelmed. It’s simple and calming.

How to do it:

• Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.

• Place one hand over your heart. You can use your full palm or just your fingertips.

• Begin gently tapping about one tap per second. You can say silently with each tap, “Here I am” or “I’m okay.”

• If you’re comfortable, close your eyes and match the tapping to your breath.

• Do this for 1 to 3 minutes, or until you feel just a little steadier.

Why it works: The warmth and pressure of your hand over your heart may stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps bring your body out of fight-or-flight. The slow rhythm gives your system something predictable and soothing to focus on.

If My Life Were a Cottagecore Novel, This Week Would Include…

Take a deep breath and enjoy this little artwork.

A sensory snapshot of quiet moments and simple things.

• A steaming mug of tea cooling beside a stack of books I keep meaning to open.

• The smell of dirt after watering the garden, warm and familiar.

• The breeze on my walk between meetings, tugging at me to run barefoot through the grass.

• Watching sunlight and tree shadows shift in slow-moving time across the floor.

• The pause before getting into my car—hearing birds sing, and letting it settle me.

• A bit of afternoon couch napping, letting peace wrap me up. 

• Listening to live music while holding my husband's hand, reminding myself life is good.
  
  

Lately, I’ve been craving slower rhythms—moments where life doesn’t need to be fixed or figured out, just noticed. This little exercise came from that place. I imagined my week not as a to-do list, but as a scene from a quiet novel. It helped me find beauty in the in-between: the ordinary, the fleeting, the things I’d miss if I didn’t pause.

Feeling a little uninspired or tired too? Try slowing down and jotting down the little things you’ve noticed this week. What sights, sounds, smells, or feelings have stood out? It doesn’t have to be profound—just real. Sometimes that’s more than enough.

Life in Experiment Mode

My experimental garden

What if your next few weeks had less pressure—and were more about curiosity?

Malama Life on YouTube had a video on this topic which offered me a refreshing perspective and it's led me to framing my tasks and daily activities as experiments.

This thought-shift has moved my mind away from stressing about everything working out and toward valuing how life develops. Outcomes are simply data to inform my next steps and this mindset has brought me more peace, curiosity, and growth!

Personally, I've been puttering with two raised garden beds a lot lately. I find myself sometimes stressing and feeling pressure for great results, but the truth I keep coming back to is that this is really an experiment. Some of the garden guys I watch have whole gardens where they simply experiment with different soils and techniques. One gardener in South Texas is considered a chaos gardener. She just throws seeds around and experiments that way. This has encouraged me to view mine as the same. 

And all this has brought me back to Thoreau's Walden. Henry David Thoreau lived his life in experiment mode! I remember reading how he worked hard, even on his own bean crop, and my spirit calms when reading the balanced view of his days and nature again.

"While I enjoy the friendship of the seasons I trust that nothing can make life a burden to me. The gentle rain which waters my beans and keeps me in the house today is not drear and melancholy, but good for me too. Though it prevents my hoeing them, it is of far more worth than my hoeing. If it should continue so long as to cause the seeds to rot in the ground and destroy the potatoes in the low lands, it would still be good for the grass on the uplands, and, being good for the grass, it would be good for me." HDT

I've been growing things from seeds too, including bush beans - which are fun to watch, but I've realized I do not enjoy the back and forth of the hardening off process. So, I've been writing down my planting results, including a collection of my feelings as data. It goes like this: 

Did the seeds for my beans grow well - check! Did the bugs come and eat the first real leaf - also check. What is the data on how that made me feel? Well, why spend months growing seeds only to have them eaten - next year I may just by transplants that are stronger. I value my time spent more than a few extra bucks. 

Anyway, the recent Spring hail may have damaged my little seedlings or critters may come and destroy all my work tomorrow despite my efforts. But to plant a garden is to sit in awe of nature. I continually challenge my brain not to focus SO much on the results and when successful, this makes the garden more beautiful and less stressful.

Here are some other practical ways to think of experimentation: 

New Hobbies

Treat your hobbies as a fun experiment. For example, let’s say you want to start painting. Instead of stressing about creating a “perfect” painting, view each brushstroke as an opportunity to collect data. How does paint react to changes in pressure of the brush to paper? What happens if you mix other colors together? You may discover a preference for abstract art over realism, or that you love the act of painting itself, regardless of the outcome. The goal of your new hobby shouldn't be perfection; it’s insight.

Building a Health Routine

Experiment with different routines or meal plans without the pressure of perfect results. Look at it as an experiment to try out different workout styles like Qigong, strength training, cardio—and see which ones you enjoy and how each makes you feel. Instead of measuring success by the number of pounds lost or the miles run, collect data about what keeps you energized or how your body responds. Get curious and ask yourself questions. By removing the outcome pressure, (lbs lost) which is usually based on society, and leaning into experimentation, the experience becomes about what you enjoy and not just a result.

Relationship Building

Consider the next few weeks an experiment in learning to have better relationships. Try new ways of communicating with a partner or experiment with different ways of spending time with family. If you need new friends, then look for different ways to meet new people. Would you like a more collaborative work environment with your team, experiment with a new meeting format. The results, whether classically a success or failure, are just data showing if this new idea strengthened your bonds or didn't resonate. In this experiment, outcomes can be beautiful data to inform you of better ways to build your connections.

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The Benefit: Excitement and an Open Mind

Approaching life like an experiment can help us embrace uncertainty with excitement rather than fear. It encourages a sense of curiosity, where we can be excited to see what works and what doesn’t, knowing that every result—good or bad—teaches us something valuable. With this open mind, we become more adaptable, resilient, and at ease with imperfections.

I hope you'll consider the weeks ahead as an experiment where you can see what works for you, what excites you, and what challenges you. And most of all, less pressure and more curiosity. 

Rediscovering Life Beyond the Digital Noise: A Shift in my Online Landscape

I’ve been reflecting on how much of my time and energy is spent in different digital neighborhoods. While I enjoy technology, it’s time to rediscover life beyond quick videos and baiting. I deleted TikTok after it went dark, and even if it comes back, this feels like the right moment to bid the app adieu. I’ve been off Instagram since March 2024, and now I’ve decided to change how I use Facebook as well. I’ll still gather information about my favorite people and communities but I won’t use it for my own life updates, photo sharing, or engagement any longer. (No phone app either, just occasional desktop access.)

This shift grows from a desire to live more creatively and cultivate personal projects, giving me the room to focus on my own life rather than just watching others live theirs. ❤️

Privacy is also a priority—I’ve grown uncomfortable with how much access companies have to personal data, regardless of what country they’re based. That’s why I’m moving towards my Blogger platform, where I have more control and can share updates free from ads or monetization.

To some, this change may seem small but as I embrace it, I’m excited to see the new stories, insights, and creative sparks that bloom. 

"Turn down the noise of the world and tune into the rhythm of your own life—creativity blooms in the quiet spaces we dare to nurture."— ChatGPT

A Poet’s Canvas: Composing Amongst Cattails and Calm Waters

Tree with mixed green leaves in front of a lake shoreline of cattails.
Baby blue skies and long white clouds.

This summer, I will again embrace the beauty of nature and the joy of poetry during some tranquil breakfast picnics by the lake. Recently, I indulged in two blissful hours of reading and writing. The peaceful scene inspired me to pen some free verse that captures the essence of the moment. “The Grace of Silver Droplets” reflects the shared yet solitary experience of two people connecting with nature and themselves.

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**The Grace of Silver Droplets**

Lakeside, as morning unfurls with a gentle stretch,
my poetry finds form before the geese even herald the sun.
In this park, solitude is a shared presence with others, yet in essence, alone.

A fisherman,
in silent silhouette a stone's throw from shore,
hushes his vessel.
His boat drifts along, cradled by calm,
towards wispy cattails. 

Upon the grass,
soft silver droplets linger for the sun's warm kiss.
Each blade glistens,
as do the shimmering waves,
sparkling like silver sequins upon the lake's gown.

This day, we find our own harmony
and peace moves between us with the elegance of a passing dragonfly.
Our minutes unfold into memories and we enjoy this time.
His joy his, and mine is mine.

From Wishes to Witness: The Materialization of a Forgotten Dream

In the quiet corners of our digital archives, memories lie dormant—
the tiniest of seeds planted in the fertile soil of our imagination.

Do you ever scroll through your old Pinterest boards? I did the other day. I came across my "Tiny Homes" inspiration board while doing a digital detox to consider deleting old boards that may not be needed any longer.

Suddenly there it was, the Coho Cottage. Mr. Ross Chaplin's creation—a whimsical fusion of wood and wonder that captured my heart back in 2009. Its walls whispered of cozy evenings of reading by the wood-burning stove, warm breezy mornings on the porch, and moon views from a gable window. I used to picture myself there as a part of its story, weaving my own chapters into its timbered frame.

But life has a way of nudging us toward unexpected paths, doesn’t it? When the time came to choose a home, practicality won over whimsy. A brick 3-2-2 starter home became the best choice and my cottage dreams faded into the background, gathering digital dust.

Then today—a serendipitous moment when pixels and nostalgia collided. There it was, the little red cottage, resurfacing like a long-lost friend and in a moment of clarity, it dawned on me that the essence of the Coho cottage was mirrored in the charm of my Okie Blue Bungalow. My heart fluttered when I saw the similarities: bold colors met crisp white fascia and trim, gables stood confident each with three steadfast planks, and that enchanting front porch that beckons us to sit a spell.

Is it mere coincidence, or something more? Some call it manifesting—the art of creating reality from desire. Or perhaps God gave me a gift by weaving threads of familiarity into my memory when I was house hunting in 2022. Either way, my home now stands as a testament to the magic of reverie.

And I’ve realized that dreams, even forgotten ones, find their way.

So, my dear reader and dreamer, keep pinning your hopes and writing your lists. For who knows which ones await rediscovery and perhaps, just beyond the next scroll, lies one that has come to fruition which at one time you thought you could only have dreamed for.

 The tapestry of a home is woven with the threads of dreams once whispered to the night sky. - silver trumpets