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| My Recent Watercolor Painting |
Oh Life.
I've been so stressed. Lately, it feels like I’m going through my first real rounds with anxiety. My “triage” go-to options for self-care have been packed full of fantastic ideas for years now. But lately, there’s just too much hard change for those to keep up. What I’m needing isn’t more tips or activities, but ideas to shift my internal language. Something deeper; something steadier.
Many times, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. Creating small moments of calm can help when our nervous system feels overwhelmed, when the noise outside of us is too much, or when our own thoughts won’t quiet down. So here are some deeper language tools I’m exploring to help steady my mind.
1. Name the Feeling, Then Rename It Kindly
I'm trying to say out loud what I'm experiencing. “I feel overwhelmed.” “I’m tense.” Or even, “I don’t know what I feel, but it’s heavy.” Then following it up with something softer like, “And it makes sense,” or “This won’t last forever.” Sometimes self-soothing starts by giving ourselves permission to feel.
2. “What’s True Right Now?”
I ask that question quietly, almost like a prayer. Then answer with facts of things around me, not fears. For example: “What's true right now? I’m okay. I may be _____ (emotion here), but I can make it past this. The lights are on. My feet are on the floor. I can hear the birds singing.” Sometimes truths of the moment (sight, sound, touch) pull our minds back from the edge.
3. Create a “Go-To Phrase” That You Memorize
I'm trying out a short phrase to repeat when I'm anxious or scattered. A few examples:
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“I can take this one breath at a time.” When everything feels like too much, we can narrow our focus. We don’t always need a plan—just this breath.
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“I am still learning, even in the middle of this.” A reminder that growth and change continue at every age, even when life feels messy.
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“This is uncomfortable, not unsafe.” For moments when fear or anxiety is loud but not rooted in actual danger.
I keep it short and emotionally honest then say it slowly.
4. Tell Someone You're Struggling (Even Briefly)
Many times, I don't need someone to solve it, but I just need to say it: “I’m having a weird day,” or “I’m feeling off.” Saying it out loud to someone I trust helps me shift my inner state from isolated to connected, even if nothing changes externally. And still, ultimately, I will not let myself be afraid to reach out to a counselor, therapist, or doctor to get extra support.
5. Use “Part of Me” Language
Instead of saying, “I’m freaking out,” I'm using, “A part of me is feeling overwhelmed right now." This approach acknowledges my difficult emotions without making my feelings all that I am. I might also say, "A part of me is sad while another part ____ [fact based positive outlook]," so that I'm in balance. Positive outlook examples could be: 1. knows this season will pass, 2. knows I've gotten through hard times before, 3. knows I've done my best.
6. “This Feeling Isn’t a Forecast.”
Just because I feel dread doesn’t mean something bad is coming. So, I've been reminding myself, “This is a feeling, not a prophecy.” This helps reframe my anxiety as an internal wave, not an external warning.
7. “Today, I’m Allowed to Be a Human.”
This one is for the days when I feel like I'm just carrying too much. I'll speak it gently to try to let the weight shift off my shoulders, even just a little. Just giving myself permission to be okay with not being on my A-game.
BONUS IDEA: Heart Hold Tap
This one is especially helpful when we’re feeling emotionally raw, disconnected, or overwhelmed. It’s simple and calming.
How to do it:
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Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
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Place one hand over your heart. You can use your full palm or just your fingertips.
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Begin gently tapping about one tap per second. You can say silently with each tap, “Here I am” or “I’m okay.”
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If you’re comfortable, close your eyes and match the tapping to your breath.
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Do this for 1 to 3 minutes, or until you feel just a little steadier.
Why it works: The warmth and pressure of your hand over your heart may stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps bring your body out of fight-or-flight. The slow rhythm gives your system something predictable and soothing to focus on.
