Seeking Pemberley: Our Ladies' Elegant Escape

 

Philbrook gardens

In June, I had the joy of taking a much needed trip with my mom and daughter. I called it our Ladies Elegant Escape. The idea was simple but powerful: to step away from the routines of caring for everyone else and simply care for ourselves.

We leaned into every moment, savoring great food without rushing, lingering over pie, laughing freely, and letting ourselves just be. There is something deeply restorative about carving out space for three generations to connect, uninterrupted.

One of the most memorable activities was visiting the beautiful Philbrook Museum of Arts and gardens in Tulsa, OK. This stop fit perfectly with my Heartistry – Pride & Prejudice inspired activities. Walking through the elegant galleries and looking out over the gardens felt like visiting Pemberley itself. It was beautiful and peaceful, with just the right touch of history and charm to make it unforgettable. No photos do justice to any of these paintings but I've put some of my favorites below with details. If you click on the photos, they should be larger. 

Side note: The museum also surprised us with a Samurai exhibition. The intricate armor and striking displays added a dramatic contrast to the soft elegance of the galleries and garden. 

The Shepherdess (Pastourelle)

William-Adolphe Bouguereau

1889

Meadow and Sheep

Rosa Bonheur

1891

"An Angry Sea” by Thomas Moran (1887)

"Judith" 1675 by Simone Pignoni 
Her expression close up was fascinating.

The Prince Who Was Hidden

N. C. Wyeth

1929

My cute coffee cup at the AirB&B. :)

Love her! 

Momma is so beautiful!

Momma with 

Dante and Beatrice window

D'Ascenzo Studios

c. 1927

Female Great Dane by Anna Hyatt Huntington 
One of the first works to enter the Philbrook collection in 1939
People shouldn't, but you can see visitors have pat the pup on the head and 
kissed it's nose a few times.

Eight Bells

Winslow Homer

1887

"Grand Canal at Venice"

"How to be Happy though Single" - 1891; Julia B. Folkard

Madonna and Child with the Young Saint John

Felice Schiavoni

1850
This was more beautiful than I ever imagined. 
I had to go back to view it once more before we left. 

“Three Sisters” (2024) by Muscogee Creek Artist
The Three Sisters is a Native American gardening method where corn, beans, 
and squash are planted together. Each helps the others grow — 
corn supports beans, beans enrich the soil, and squash shades the ground.

(Les Pommes)  The Apples, 1947 - The first Pablo Picasso painting I've seen in person.
I did not like it...at first, but it's grown on me. 

Amphora with Heracles and Dionysus Greek, Circa: 530 BCE !!!

The Death of Cato

Mathieu Ignace Van Brée

1797

This was my favorite painting. 
The delicate silk dress and the subtle details revealed themselves the longer I looked. 
It brought me to tears. A closer photo is below. 

 

The Apparition of the Host to Saint Thomas Aquinas

Francesco de Mura

c. 1735

Gosh! "The Death of Cleopatra" - Caspar Netscher 1673

 

 Bathsheba at Her Toilette 

Jean François de Troy

c. 1750

 

In person, King David's lurking doesn't catch your eye right away 
but it stands out when you view it from the left.

Famous Blue Whale on Route 66

Morning in the Woods

Worthington Whittredge

c. 1868-75

Soft Words for Anxious Moments

My Recent Watercolor Painting

Oh Life.

I've been so stressed. Lately, it feels like I’m going through my first real rounds with anxiety. My “triage” go-to options for self-care have been packed full of fantastic ideas for years now. But lately, there’s just too much hard change for those to keep up. What I’m needing isn’t more tips or activities, but ideas to shift my internal language. Something deeper; something steadier.

Many times, we need to change the way we talk to ourselves. Creating small moments of calm can help when our nervous system feels overwhelmed, when the noise outside of us is too much, or when our own thoughts won’t quiet down. So here are some deeper language tools I’m exploring to help steady my mind. 

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1. Name the Feeling, Then Rename It Kindly

I'm trying to say out loud what I'm experiencing. “I feel overwhelmed.” “I’m tense.” Or even, “I don’t know what I feel, but it’s heavy.” Then following it up with something softer like, “And it makes sense,” or “This won’t last forever.” Sometimes self-soothing starts by giving ourselves permission to feel.

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2. “What’s True Right Now?”

I ask that question quietly, almost like a prayer. Then answer with facts of things around me, not fears. For example: “What's true right now? I’m okay. I may be _____ (emotion here), but I can make it past this. The lights are on. My feet are on the floor. I can hear the birds singing.” Sometimes truths of the moment (sight, sound, touch) pull our minds back from the edge.

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3. Create a “Go-To Phrase” That You Memorize

I'm trying out a short phrase to repeat when I'm anxious or scattered. A few examples:

• “I can take this one breath at a time.” When everything feels like too much, we can narrow our focus. We don’t always need a plan—just this breath.

• “I am still learning, even in the middle of this.” A reminder that growth and change continue at every age, even when life feels messy.

• “This is uncomfortable, not unsafe.” For moments when fear or anxiety is loud but not rooted in actual danger.

I keep it short and emotionally honest then say it slowly.

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4. Tell Someone You're Struggling (Even Briefly)

Many times, I don't need someone to solve it, but I just need to say it: “I’m having a weird day,” or “I’m feeling off.” Saying it out loud to someone I trust helps me shift my inner state from isolated to connected, even if nothing changes externally. And still, ultimately, I will not let myself be afraid to reach out to a counselor, therapist, or doctor to get extra support.

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5. Use “Part of Me” Language

Instead of saying, “I’m freaking out,” I'm using, “A part of me is feeling overwhelmed right now." This approach acknowledges my difficult emotions without making my feelings all that I am. I might also say, "A part of me is sad while another part  ____ [fact based positive outlook]," so that I'm in balance. Positive outlook examples could be: 1. knows this season will pass, 2. knows I've gotten through hard times before, 3. knows I've done my best.

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6. “This Feeling Isn’t a Forecast.”

Just because I feel dread doesn’t mean something bad is coming. So, I've been reminding myself, “This is a feeling, not a prophecy.” This helps reframe my anxiety as an internal wave, not an external warning.

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7. “Today, I’m Allowed to Be a Human.”

This one is for the days when I feel like I'm just carrying too much. I'll speak it gently to try to let the weight shift off my shoulders, even just a little. Just giving myself permission to be okay with not being on my A-game.

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BONUS IDEA: Heart Hold Tap

This one is especially helpful when we’re feeling emotionally raw, disconnected, or overwhelmed. It’s simple and calming.

How to do it:

• Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.

• Place one hand over your heart. You can use your full palm or just your fingertips.

• Begin gently tapping about one tap per second. You can say silently with each tap, “Here I am” or “I’m okay.”

• If you’re comfortable, close your eyes and match the tapping to your breath.

• Do this for 1 to 3 minutes, or until you feel just a little steadier.

Why it works: The warmth and pressure of your hand over your heart may stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps bring your body out of fight-or-flight. The slow rhythm gives your system something predictable and soothing to focus on.

AI Bedtime Stories

Sometimes when I'm trying to drift off to sleep my mind starts racing. I've tried to do different things to get it settled and reading seems the best. Instead of reaching for my current book, I decided to ask AI to create me a bedtime story by giving it just a few details from my day and a setting. It's been crafting some beautifully calm stories. I wanted to share an example here and suggest this prompt too. ❤️

"Stella and the Thread of Light"

High above the world, past the silver clouds and auroras that danced in silence, there was a little starglow station where dreams gathered before they fell to Earth. It wasn’t marked on any map and no telescope could see it, but it was there floating like a dandelion seed on the breath of the cosmos.

This station was tended by a starlight keeper named Stella. She had hair like moonlight, eyes that held the softness of twilight, and hands skilled in the quiet art of weaving peace. Her job? To stitch together the softest moments of each person’s day and spin them into threads of light threads that would wrap gently around them as they slept.

Tonight, Stella was especially joyful. She had gathered a golden thread from a sunrise that had taken someone’s breath away. A silver strand from laughter shared. A streak of bright coral from someone moving freely in their body. Soft pink loops from completed tasks and tidy corners. And from a heart full of generosity, she'd found flecks of rose-gold light, the kind that only appears when you think of others in love.

Stella hummed as she worked, her loom gently humming back, catching the rhythm of contentment. As she wove, a small star floated by, watching curiously.

“Who’s this one for?” the star asked, blinking.

Stella smiled. “This one’s for a soul who spent the day in beauty, motion, and kindness. They poured light into their space and the people they love. Now it’s their turn to be wrapped in light.”

The star beamed. “Will they feel it?”

“Oh yes,” Stella whispered. “It will come as a soft weight in the limbs. A deep sigh. The kind of sleep that feels like floating. The kind where your spirit roams among galaxies and wakes up remembering something good, even if you can’t name it.”

With the final stitch, Stella knotted the thread and released it. It shimmered through space like a ribbon in slow motion, falling gently, quietly, faithfully.

Down below, that small ribbon of starlight found its way through the hush of night. It entered through an open heart, softened by gratitude, and draped itself over the one it belonged to...you.

It whispered nothing, made no demands. It simply was a gift earned by living with beauty and love.

And as you nestled into your blankets, the stars above blinked slowly, keeping watch, while Stella added your name to the constellation of souls who shine by day and rest by grace at night.

Sleep came gently.

And it was very, very good

If My Life Were a Cottagecore Novel, This Week Would Include…

Take a deep breath and enjoy this little artwork.

A sensory snapshot of quiet moments and simple things.

• A steaming mug of tea cooling beside a stack of books I keep meaning to open.

• The smell of dirt after watering the garden, warm and familiar.

• The breeze on my walk between meetings, tugging at me to run barefoot through the grass.

• Watching sunlight and tree shadows shift in slow-moving time across the floor.

• The pause before getting into my car—hearing birds sing, and letting it settle me.

• A bit of afternoon couch napping, letting peace wrap me up. 

• Listening to live music while holding my husband's hand, reminding myself life is good.
  
  

Lately, I’ve been craving slower rhythms—moments where life doesn’t need to be fixed or figured out, just noticed. This little exercise came from that place. I imagined my week not as a to-do list, but as a scene from a quiet novel. It helped me find beauty in the in-between: the ordinary, the fleeting, the things I’d miss if I didn’t pause.

Feeling a little uninspired or tired too? Try slowing down and jotting down the little things you’ve noticed this week. What sights, sounds, smells, or feelings have stood out? It doesn’t have to be profound—just real. Sometimes that’s more than enough.

Life in Experiment Mode

My experimental garden

What if your next few weeks had less pressure—and were more about curiosity?

Malama Life on YouTube had a video on this topic which offered me a refreshing perspective and it's led me to framing my tasks and daily activities as experiments.

This thought-shift has moved my mind away from stressing about everything working out and toward valuing how life develops. Outcomes are simply data to inform my next steps and this mindset has brought me more peace, curiosity, and growth!

Personally, I've been puttering with two raised garden beds a lot lately. I find myself sometimes stressing and feeling pressure for great results, but the truth I keep coming back to is that this is really an experiment. Some of the garden guys I watch have whole gardens where they simply experiment with different soils and techniques. One gardener in South Texas is considered a chaos gardener. She just throws seeds around and experiments that way. This has encouraged me to view mine as the same. 

And all this has brought me back to Thoreau's Walden. Henry David Thoreau lived his life in experiment mode! I remember reading how he worked hard, even on his own bean crop, and my spirit calms when reading the balanced view of his days and nature again.

"While I enjoy the friendship of the seasons I trust that nothing can make life a burden to me. The gentle rain which waters my beans and keeps me in the house today is not drear and melancholy, but good for me too. Though it prevents my hoeing them, it is of far more worth than my hoeing. If it should continue so long as to cause the seeds to rot in the ground and destroy the potatoes in the low lands, it would still be good for the grass on the uplands, and, being good for the grass, it would be good for me." HDT

I've been growing things from seeds too, including bush beans - which are fun to watch, but I've realized I do not enjoy the back and forth of the hardening off process. So, I've been writing down my planting results, including a collection of my feelings as data. It goes like this: 

Did the seeds for my beans grow well - check! Did the bugs come and eat the first real leaf - also check. What is the data on how that made me feel? Well, why spend months growing seeds only to have them eaten - next year I may just by transplants that are stronger. I value my time spent more than a few extra bucks. 

Anyway, the recent Spring hail may have damaged my little seedlings or critters may come and destroy all my work tomorrow despite my efforts. But to plant a garden is to sit in awe of nature. I continually challenge my brain not to focus SO much on the results and when successful, this makes the garden more beautiful and less stressful.

Here are some other practical ways to think of experimentation: 

New Hobbies

Treat your hobbies as a fun experiment. For example, let’s say you want to start painting. Instead of stressing about creating a “perfect” painting, view each brushstroke as an opportunity to collect data. How does paint react to changes in pressure of the brush to paper? What happens if you mix other colors together? You may discover a preference for abstract art over realism, or that you love the act of painting itself, regardless of the outcome. The goal of your new hobby shouldn't be perfection; it’s insight.

Building a Health Routine

Experiment with different routines or meal plans without the pressure of perfect results. Look at it as an experiment to try out different workout styles like Qigong, strength training, cardio—and see which ones you enjoy and how each makes you feel. Instead of measuring success by the number of pounds lost or the miles run, collect data about what keeps you energized or how your body responds. Get curious and ask yourself questions. By removing the outcome pressure, (lbs lost) which is usually based on society, and leaning into experimentation, the experience becomes about what you enjoy and not just a result.

Relationship Building

Consider the next few weeks an experiment in learning to have better relationships. Try new ways of communicating with a partner or experiment with different ways of spending time with family. If you need new friends, then look for different ways to meet new people. Would you like a more collaborative work environment with your team, experiment with a new meeting format. The results, whether classically a success or failure, are just data showing if this new idea strengthened your bonds or didn't resonate. In this experiment, outcomes can be beautiful data to inform you of better ways to build your connections.

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The Benefit: Excitement and an Open Mind

Approaching life like an experiment can help us embrace uncertainty with excitement rather than fear. It encourages a sense of curiosity, where we can be excited to see what works and what doesn’t, knowing that every result—good or bad—teaches us something valuable. With this open mind, we become more adaptable, resilient, and at ease with imperfections.

I hope you'll consider the weeks ahead as an experiment where you can see what works for you, what excites you, and what challenges you. And most of all, less pressure and more curiosity.