Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Ps. 68:19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

Last week and part of this week, I have been feeling extremely lonely and sad because my hypersomnia has me so housebound. My feelings and questions of God began like a snowball catching speed rolling down a hill of "what will happen when..." 

This morning, I can see that all my questions, my crying prayers, and my talks with sisters over the past two days boil down to the same question the disciples asked Jesus...Don’t you care

The disciples asked Jesus during the storm (Mark 4:38)
Martha asked Jesus the same question too (Luke 10:40)

It's so good for me to be open with God and with others about questions because worry and heartaches happen to everyone! Sometimes I think we act like or think that we should have already 'arrived' as a Christian. But if we are honest with ourselves and others, we know it's a continual process to stay close to God and you've just gotta trust the process. I've learned we can't always walk around in perfect perspective 'cause that's not real and it's not even human.

So lately, I've found myself asking, Lord, don't you care if I'm sick, if I'm lonely, if I'm sad? And this morning, as I close my eyes and see Jesus standing in front of me, arms spread for a hug, I almost can't even whisper the question...don't you care?...as my eyes glance down at nail marks in his wrist... because with one look I know he does!

He's cared about my soul long before I hit this earth so I know he will take care of me in all other aspects too! I just need to stay open with God and with people. I must stay real and I have to pray and read scriptures that fill me and remind me who God is in this life. And if life gets too overwhelming then I will just start with repeating to myself: “You can make it – HE is here.” :)

There is no perfect answer that one person can give to another whose heart is in pain. Only though God’s word does lasting and reliable comfort come to us. I do find it wildly comforting that we are not forsaken, abandoned, or given up on by the Lord because He promised He will never leave us. May you let that promise sink in deeply (Deut 31:6).

The scriptures below are some that give me hope in times of heartache and questions too. 

Ecclesiastes 7:3 NLT "Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us"

Psalm 52: 8 NLT "But I am like an olive tree, thriving in the house of God. I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever."

**Suggestion for a great book when dealing with any kind of loss: The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James & Russell Friedman

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