Resting In Peace: Planning for Your Family

Acts 2:25-27 (NLT) "...‘I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts his praises! My body rests in hope.

Can we talk about a topic that is generally uncomfortable yet really a justifiable one to tackle? Well, since both adoptions are now final, it's clearly time for me to get life insurance, create my legal wills and plan funeral arrangements. I know, not the happiest of thoughts, right? BUT as an adult, and especially as a parent, it's simply the responsible thing to do! Did you ever realize there are actually scriptures in the bible where some people did their "funeral planning" ahead of time too? Check this out:

• Genesis 23, Genesis 47:29-30, Genesis 50:5, Genesis 50:25
• 1 Kings 13:30-32

As I look at my children and how much loss they've already experienced in their short lives, the LAST thing I want is for them to experience my passing anytime soon. However, the fact is we simply never know what the future holds. Because of this, my ISTJ personality is constantly bugging me to be diligent to put anything I can in place to protect and support my kids if the unexpected happens.

No matter what age my children actually are when I pass away, they will be going through enough hard emotions and I don't want them to have the added stress of planning or financial worry. Besides, the fact is that setting up guardianship is super important to me and my kids since they've been adopted. My hope is that after reading this other people will go ahead and do their planning too. I'm guessing that married folks often have their spouses to lean on but sometimes singles don't have the same kind of support because maybe parents and siblings don't like to be involved, don't like think about this, or just aren't around. This kind of planning can be overwhelming and weigh heavy so since I just waded through this process I wanted to share the load and hopeful take some of the "where do I begin" feelings away. One of the great things about doing this planning is that once it is done...it's done and you can move on your happy way with nary another reason to revisit unless some huge life event happens.

Things to do: 

Create a Last Will and Living Will:

A last will and testament is a legal document that lets you, the testator (the person making the will), designate individuals or charities to receive your property and possessions when you pass away. These individuals and charities are commonly referred to as beneficiaries in your last will. A last will also allows you to name a guardian to care for minor children. The main purpose of a will is to ensure that the testator's wishes, and not the default laws of the state, will be followed upon the testator's death.
Read more at: http://www.legalzoom.com/personal/estate-planning/last-will-and-testament-overview.html
LegalZoom.com

A last will and testament is a legal document that lets you, the testator (the person making the will), designate individuals or charities to receive your property and possessions when you pass away. These individuals and charities are commonly referred to as beneficiaries in your last will. A last will also allows you to name a guardian to care for minor children. The main purpose of a will is to ensure that the testator's wishes, and not the default laws of the state, will be followed upon the testator's death.
Read more at: http://www.legalzoom.com/personal/estate-planning/last-will-and-testament-overview.html
LegalZoom.com

A last will and testament is a legal document that lets you, the testator (the person making the will), designate individuals or charities to receive your property and possessions when you pass away. These individuals and charities are commonly referred to as beneficiaries in your last will. A last will also allows you to name a guardian to care for minor children. The main purpose of a will is to ensure that the testator's wishes, and not the default laws of the state, will be followed upon the testator's death.
Read more at: http://www.legalzoom.com/personal/estate-planning/last-will-and-testament-overview.html
LegalZoom.com

Mostly, in a last will, you direct your estate (gifts, property, electronic photos/accounts, etc.) and name guardianship of minors (and even pets). A Living will is an advance directive to physicians and family wherein you state your wishes for end-of-life medical care. Many hospitals and some funeral homes have living will forms you can pick up. To make drafting my Will easier on myself, I'm using a respected online service where I fill in my responses for a lawyer's review and then I can print and have the documents notarized. It has made the process fairly easy-breezy. Once these documents are completed, they need to go in the safest place you have (fire safe box or safety deposit box are the best). And a couple of trusted people need to know where to find it or have a copy!    

Plan Funeral Arrangements: As I was working through my "Last Will" form, there is a section for funeral arrangement details. You can skip this section on the paperwork if you are not ready to place information there but I decided to go ahead and make arrangements so that my funeral wishes are in my actual paperwork. Although you can do a ton of planning, here's a quick top 5 things to consider and decide upon:

1. Casket burial (usually a funeral) or cremation (memorial service). I found this article to be helpful. Also, you might want to decide if you want a viewing. It's a good thing to talk through with family.
2. Who would you like to officiate your service?
3. Any special songs, poems, scriptures to be read.
4. Location for the service to be held: funeral home, graveside service, celebration of life gathering?
5. If there is a specific cemetery for your final resting place or some other directive for your ashes if cremated.

I was surprised at how strong my feelings were about specifics on funeral planning. I want the person officiating my service to actually know me personally, a friend who understands me and my convictions and who also knows my children. I reached out to a dear friend of my family and asked him if he would officiate and I'm blessed that he agreed. I have the simple requests of the reading of a Psalm that is special to me...Ps. 116, and for a Trinity dove release which is where 3 doves are released to symbolize the Trinity and a moment later a single dove representing me is released to join them, circle above and fly away. Currently I plan to put aside the cost of the trinity release. I used to own white doves and they were lovely so the symbolism fits me perfectly. 

You can begin by contacting a funeral home director to get started but because I desire to have a more natural burial, and since "green burials and cemeteries" haven't quite made it to my neck of the woods yet and aren't as well known, it was easier for me to call a cemetery and ask them directly if they had the option of something called a hybrid burial ground. A hybrid burial ground is fancy wording for a conventional cemetery that has a section which allows for burial without an outer burial container or allows for burial in any type of container. Personally, I like the thought of a tree as a marker for my final resting place and I actually found a cemetery close to my home that offers the hybrid option with trees already in place as well as the option for me to use something like a BioUrn. If you do prefer cremation, here is a link to some forms to consider preparing ahead of time: Forms. 

No doubt, the thought of going there to "pick a spot" brings up so much emotion inside me. But I have an appointment to visit there. Honestly, I do see and trust how God is guiding me, especially once I saw that the address of the cemetery was on Cardinal Lane. (this story will show you why that is meaningful) Now I'm going to work with my contact there, whose family also happens to run a funeral home as well, and I will make those arrangements to knock out that cost early. In Texas (as in most states) there is also a website where you can verify a funeral home (or directors') license if you'd like that added peace of mind. If you have any questions, or need someone to talk to about this kind of planning, please feel free to reach out to me or comment.

Ultimately, once paperwork is signed and arrangements are made, I will not forget that the words, "my body rests in hope" will be the final conclusion. I want my kids to have peace, not just because the preparations were all made, but in the fact that when my body rests, my soul is set because my hope rests solely in Jesus' return for me. And that beloved, is truly resting in peace.