Monday, March 24, 2014

Heart, Soul, Mind, & Strength

recent birthday gift from a friend

Recently, I awoke and didn't feel like myself. After pouring some hot tea, I sat trying to calm my restless heart and found myself parched for God. In the days prior, I had read through the horrific abuse history of a sibling group in foster care that I was considering for adoption. Eight children in total had suffered abuse that literally made me sick at my stomach while at the same time the evil of the abuse & neglect enraged me towards the bio mom who had surrendered her parental rights recently. [more anger than I've felt in a LONG time towards anyone] After much prayer, advice and meditation, I decided to decline moving forward with the pair still available for adoption because I know that I am not the one God has picked to parent them. *deep sigh* All of this had taken an underground toll on me.

As I listened to one of my favorite songs by Audrey Assad, Restless, a line moved me that says, "Cause I know You're more than my salvation. Without you I am hopeless, tell me who You are....You are the keeper of my heart."


More than my salvation. Without You, I'm hopeless. You are the keeper of my heart...


I sipped in these words, along with my tea. Jesus is my Savior. And yet, he is much more than that! In Luke 10:27 the scriptures say, 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ Because it is easy to focus too much on what I am doing "for" God, written in the margin of my bible is a note. I wrote it during a past sermon and it is there to remind me that my relationship with God is not one-sided or just about my efforts. The Father God is always reaching out to connect with me too. Our relationship is two-way! He gives me His heart, soul, strength, and - as much as my human mind can handle - his thoughts & understanding. Amazing!


To help this sink in deeper, I looked up the Greek definitions in the Luke 10 verse [Strong's text analysis] on of these words

Here's what I found: 

  • heart - our inner life, intentions, character, moral preferences

  • soul - the place of our affections & will, self, breath

  • strength - our ability, power, might, effort

  • mind - our understanding, reasoning, insight

All this has been helping to quench my thirst for God because my heart is restless and I am broken for these hurting children. I know I need to get to a place of forgiveness, compassion and praying blessings for this bio mom even as I pray blessings for the six remaining children who have suffered abuse but survived with their lives. More challenging decisions and information are coming on different sibling groups as I continue to knock on doors to see which ones God wants me to care for and bring into our home. Although the CPS history & reports are 'professionally written,' for my Christian heart and mind, it was like reading R-rated text/porn and visuals get into my head that are terrifying. In light of all this, I need people's prayers for God's supernatural protection of my mind & spirit. I MUST focus my heart, soul, mind and strength on Jesus and my amazing God! AND I must lean into God and see all the ways He is giving back to me. God, you are the keeper of my heart. 


What I need right now is a whole lot of Jesus!! [yes, there may be some chocolate involved as well - haha] My home study has been submitted for 3 other sibling groups. Please pray. If you want to hear the song I mentioned above click here: Restless [some beautiful scenery too]. Some other scriptures to read: Mark 12:30, Matthew 22:37, Deuteronomy 6:5, 10:12 & 13:3, Joshua 22:5


  1. God will ooen the door for you. I think about all of the terrible things I read in the news regarding child abuse and sometimes I just cant read anymore. The stuff adults do to children sickens and breaks my heart. There really are some adoption stories that are positive. My brother and his wife adopted a beautiful baby girl from a couple who just couldnt afford to feed another child. When the time is right, U will have the pdrfect fit. God bless ur heart for going thru this process. You will make a great mom! Just remember that not only will U be surrounded by your physical family, your church family, but you and your future child/children will be backed by God. There is a scripture in the bible that says (paraphrase) do not despise these little ones for their angels see the face of God. I shudder to think what is going to happen to these parents' lives when they face God if they dont repent. Makes me happy that God assigns an angel to each child. :) hang in there!

  2. Thank you so much for those encouraging words!! I need them so much :)