Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Man of My Dreams

Last night I dreamed of a man. Funny enough, because this is often how dreams work, he was a combination of three men which I have deeply cared for in my life. In this dream he came over to me, put his arm around me and said he missed me. Then he gave me a stack of encouragement cards and letters about the size of a telephone book! As he walked away, I turned to a mutual friend and asked him how this man of my dreams was doing in his relationship with God. The friend raved about him. I remember fighting off lustful thoughts toward the guy who gave me the encouragement cards even as the friend talked about how great he was doing spiritual. Then a preacher at church wandered up, placed his arm around my shoulders and spoke about how he'd been praying for me. He said he had a guy who had just become a Christian that he'd like me to encourage with a date. After motioning that if the brother and I ate together that I'd need to pay, we turned around and he introduced us. As the 'new brother' reached out his hand to me and smiled, I woke up. This was a weird dream.

I was pondering and praying about this unusual dream. Two of the three men that combined magically into the man of my dreams are not Christians and I dated them before I was a Christian. The third man making up the man of my dreams was a Christian brother I dated a few years ago. I was encouraged that in my dream they were all Christians. I also realized that right now I really crave to be comforted and have someone looking out for me. So you may be thinking..."why are you sharing all this?"

Simple reasons. Because I'm human, because I struggle, because when times get rough I still find myself craving the comfort of a guy, because if I don't open my eyes to stuff like this then satan will tend to find a way to use it. As a friend of mine use to say, "God has the perfect guy for you! And so does Satan." Mostly because if I'm not open to others, especially in this blog, then others might assume that either I've got it all together or that it's okay not to be open.

Be open, my sisters! Even at temptation level? Even about some stupid dream? Yup...why not be a vulnerable disciple of Jesus? If you are unsure, then find a safe person. Safe meaning someone you trust yet someone who will not simply people please you. I'm not scared...I'll tell you that I do struggle, I fight, and I fail. And I get to share my garbage, get back up, brush off, and keep walking my walk with God.

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